


Give A Little

by mixlsw



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Ben Solo Angst, Dancing, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Kylo Ren Redemption, Love at First Sight, M/M, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Phone Calls & Telephones, Police, Reylo - Freeform, Sexual Tension, Spies & Secret Agents, loads of coffee, reylo au, reylo is endgame, reylo multichapter, spy AU, they're on opposite sides
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25611406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixlsw/pseuds/mixlsw
Summary: Rey's the Resistance's top spy, sent on a mission to retrieve the only thing that can take down the First Order : a $22 million diamond. But when she bumps into a mysterious and handsome guy, she falls for him almost instantly, only to find out he's a spy working for the First Order that's also after the diamond...Will she listen to her head and take him down, or will she follow her heart?---AKA: A reylo spy au where they work on opposite sides but are falling in love with each other in secret...(FinnPoe will also be in the background!)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	1. Gala Pt 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is the first fic i've written and posted so let me know if there's any mistakes etc! Thank you for clicking/ reading!
> 
> It was inspired by Maggie Rogers - Give A Little
> 
> I'm on instagram too : mixldraws  
> feel free to follow and message on there :)
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!

Taking a deep breath, she began to walk further through the hallway, her grey dress glimmering in the lights as she headed for the hall at the end where the chatter of other guests seemed to echo. The dress she wore met the floor, forcing her brain to focus on remembering how to walk. Whilst she paced further toward the party, she reminded herself of the mission, if she stuck to it she couldn’t go wrong.

As the lights blinded her briefly, she felt guests surround her, immediately noticing that she had in fact arrived at the heart of the party. Realising she had massively underestimated the number of guests, she dove further into the crowd hoping to find of something, anything that would give her a lead. A small glance between guests, an unremoved logo from a jacket, anything that looked unnatural would do. Her eyes wandered, filtering out guest after guest, catching glimpses of expensive paintings hanging proudly on the walls and gold banisters that seemed to outline the room.

That was when she saw it. Across the room was where she saw the man, someone she wouldn’t have given a second thought if it wasn’t for his glance in her direction. It couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, anyone else would have pinned it down to a wandering gaze but his eyebrows rose momentarily as though it held a secret that was begging to be revealed. This had to be him, and she was certain when his eyes wandered and met hers suddenly as if the secret had been exposed. His eyes grew slightly larger like a deer in headlights. This was what she had been looking for, the slightest imperfection in a costume.

Her heels seemed to tap along with her desperate and frantic heartbeat as she weaved round guests in attempt to cross the crowd. Her head bobbing up and down in search of the man, brown curled hair bouncing along with her, hoping that she would reach him before he moved too far. Adrenaline forcing her to move faster, she felt her whole-body jolt as she crashed into something. In her daze she hadn’t registered that it was a someone.

“I am so sorry,” she said dusting herself off aimlessly, ignoring the other person instead looking over in the direction she had been walking in, hoping to see the shady figure again but she knew as well as anyone they were long gone, “please forgive me, I wasn’t looking where I was…” her eyes looked up to his and she had suddenly stopped straightening out her dress as she felt the words slipping away from her.

The world seemed to pause, the moving people around them, frozen. Their eyes had met and she had lost all ability to move, his eyes calling to her, daring her to gaze longer and deeper into them, to memorise every fleck of colour. She noticed a singular strand of his dark hair curled along his face, but he didn’t even bother to push it behind his ear. In a moment of weakness, she had almost reached up to do it for him but she didn’t want to tear herself from his gaze. His suit, a deep black that only seemed to allow his vibrant brown eyes to shine. 

The sudden clapping of others snapped them out of their trance and that was when she had realised that they were holding each other’s arms, but as soon as he lifted his arm off of hers, she missed the warmth there. “don’t apologise,” he finally said, his voice started calm and soft, but it soon became breathless, as though his heart was racing and he was beginning to lose composure. She knew she was. “Would you like to dance with me? I’m sorry if that’s too forward, I just… I would really love to dance with you…” 

“Yes.” She managed to say, too mesmerised by his presence. Reaching for his hand, she wrapped the other around his waist, the heat from his body making her heart flutter, almost desperate to burst out from her chest. She wondered if he could hear it beating, it seemed to beat louder with every second.

It seemed that they had been swaying with each other for hours, the rest of the room floating away as if the crowd somehow didn’t exist. “Are you here alone?” 

She laughed, her smile ever growing, “Not many people like a clumsy date.”

“You looked like you were in a rush, surely not in a hurry to get away from me?” His voice soothing but strong.

“I was always taught not to trust strangers…or men you bump into at parties.”

“Well then, tell me about yourself...” he waited, hoping for a response.

Even with her voice breathy and soft, she spoke, “Rey.” 

“Pleasure to meet you Rey,” And with that sentence she had discovered that her name sounded best being spoken from his lips, “I’m Ben.”

\--

EARLIER THAT MORNING

She quickly put the coffee cup down, in fear of spending hours breathing in the warmth oozing from the open lid, instead returning to the cold silence of the air. She seemed to work best when she was alone, the absence of glares and stares more comforting. As her fingers glided along the keyboard, the world around her seemed to fade away, allowing her to focus and research uninterrupted. It was also the time when she was able to think best, away from the distractions of the world and instead just listen to heartbeat of the ticking clock. 

The light streaming in through the windows alerted her of the hours that had passed, it had only seemed like minutes. Lifting her hand up to shield her eyes from the morning sun, she noticed that the coffee cup was now empty, something else she must have forgot she had done, too focused on her computer screen. Aside from the huge caffeine intake, working for the ‘Resistance’ had been life changing. Before this she had been living on the street, foraging for food and stealing to stay alive. Would have been a promising future… But they had found her, become her family and friends, put her skills to good use, quickly becoming the best officer by far.  
Forcing herself away from her desk before she started another hour’s work, she grabbed the cup and headed to the break room through the main corridor. Walking through the doorway, her eyes glanced on someone that had begun making their own coffee, another person most likely in need of a caffeine fix. “Hey, Poe.” She spoke, reaching to fill her mug.

“Morning, Rey. In at the usual time today?” Moving aside to sip his drink and finish the last of his cookie, she nodded. 6am had become the new 8am. “Do you ever sleep?” He continued, laughing, and smiling into his words as he handed her a pastry, she assumed he’d picked up on his way into work along with his own. Poe had quickly become her friend, of course he had tried to take her out on a date at first, but once a new victim joined the Resistance, he finally accepted defeat.  
She had never really had an interest in dating anyway, it seemed that her work always came first, “married to it” as Poe would always say.

She had a boyfriend before, she fancied him after leaving high school, but it seemed that she was so fixated on her cases that she hadn’t noticed him “meeting up” with other women. The Resistance had given her another shot at life, she wasn’t going to waste it. To say she loved him, or even liked him would have been a lie. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to being by herself, in all honesty, all she had wanted to do was be alone when she was with him. The voice of her teachers echoing ‘Every connection can become a liability’ had finalised her decision, being alone was for the best. “Only when the caffeine stops working.” She continued, “What about you, how did that date go last night?” Rey asked in between taking bites out of the pastry. Pain au chocolate, her favourite. 

“Oh god, don’t remind me.” Unlike Rey, Poe must have tried it on with majority of the girls in the building, scratch that, the town! Anything that breathed in his direction seemed to know his name! For good or bad reasons though, she wasn’t sure and she didn’t want to find out… “It was awful, probably the worst one I’ve ever been on! She had 3 cats, and that’s all I could tell you about her!” 

She tried not to laugh but Rey’s giggles filled the room and she soon had Poe laughing too, “Why do you keep going on these stupid dates! I’m starting to think it’s only to gift me with the awful stories the next day!” She nudged into his arm lightly, teasing him. 

“I don’t know, I feel like I’m looking in the wrong places! You’re married to your work, Rey, trust me I know. But surely you don’t want to be alone forever?” Poe looked at her, hoping for a new response to his frequently asked question, “Don’t you ever want to fall in love? I know I do.” Despite all his tries to, his endless dates and chat up lines, she knew he had never fallen in love with anyone. Like, really in love with someone.

She shrugged in response, what did she want? At the moment, another cup of coffee so she could finish her research. Her work comes first and foremost. As she was about to tun and head towards her desk, a voice called her name forcing her to turn her head to the approaching woman. “Morning guys!” she spoke, panting slightly, Rey guessed she had rushed to get here.  
“You alright Rose?” Poe spoke and smiled back in greeting.

She waited before responding, trying to catch her breath, “Of course! Rey, the governors asked to see you, don’t ask me why, I’ve got no idea! It sounded pretty urgent though,”

“Shit.” Poe’s face grinned back at her before responding, “What trouble have you got yourself into now, eh?”

“Let’s hope it’s not one of your dates causing trouble, again.” She smirked, smiling quickly at the two of them before heading out of the break room, through the corridor and straight to the glass door labelled ‘Governor Organa’. It’s not the first time that she had met Leia Organa, so she wasn’t completely scared. In fact, she had been so graceful and caring that it made Rey question why she would have ever been frightened. Despite this, Organa’s urgency hadn’t gone unnoticed with her, and a meeting set up that quickly normally carried crucial mission information. 

Taking a short sip of her drink to try and calm her nerves, she reached out to knock on the door only to find it opening in front of her. “Ms. Niima, thank you for coming so promptly.” She spoke quickly but as elegant as ever, moving aside to let Rey through before shutting the door and offering a seat. 

“Is everything okay Governor Organa?” Placing her coffee cup on a coaster on top of a nearby table, she sat in the seat opposite the desk.

“Please, call me Leia. May I call you Rey?” she nodded in response, allowing the other to continue, “You must be wondering why I’ve called you in here so urgently, so I’m going to get straight to the point. The First Order has started coming back out of hiding again.”

At the mention of the name, Rey shifted further toward the front of her seat in shock. She remembered all too well where that name had come up, the ‘First Order’ another ruthless undercover agency, aiming to steal for their own monetary gain. Active for years, the Resistance had been dedicated to their demise, devoted to putting an end to the criminal activity but their technological advancements had always beat them. Rey had to admit, they were good at what they did. Really good. But for the past three years they had been completely and utterly untraceable. “Wait, what do you mean they are out of hiding?”

“We’ve found a lead. Only one. A few of them, high ranking members too, are supposed to be going to this gala tonight, they’re aiming to auction off gold and silver ornaments and whatever else those rich people will buy. But, they will most likely be trying to steal something there.” Reaching into the draw of her desk, she pulled out a thick brochure with writing so fancy that Rey can’t make out what it says, “This is everything that’s on sale, we don’t know what they’re going to go for, but we have to be prepared.”

Reaching for the brochure, she begins to flick through pages and pages of worthless numbers and dollar signs, like finding a needle in a haystack. She couldn’t do this, surely? One person against a group of perfect thieves? “With all due respect Ms. Or- Leia, why me? You have other agents, ones that have been undercover before. Why me?”

“You’ve been researching them, you know the most out of everyone here, not to mention you’re the best agent we’ve got. If we go in there, guns blazing, we’re done for. More importantly, I trust you, and your judgement.”

Nodding in acceptance, her eyes flickered back to the booklet in front of her. Since any leads or information about them had disappeared, this was their final shot. Rey was always convinced that they weren’t finished, but everyone presumed that they had given up, grown bored but Rey knew better, it was wishful thinking. They were planning something. And if they were coming out of hiding, it had to be something big. “Big. That’s it.” Her eyes met the page, it’s estimated price screaming out to her. Her finger reaching to memorise every line, every detail before presenting it to Leia, “That’s what they will go for. The 100-carat diamond, I’m certain of it. Not too big that they couldn’t smuggle it out, but a big enough cheque that they could advance their technology a hundred times over.”

Leia’s eyes filled with fear and her body seemed to slump in response, “$22 million would be more than enough to do that. You know what that means then, if they manage to steal that diamond, it’s over. There’s no way we would be able to stop them.”

“No pressure,” Rey laughed into the cold silence of the room. Standing and walking over to grab her cup of coffee that had long since gone cold, she turned at the door to glance back at Leia, “I’d better be getting ready then. I need to do some research before I go –“

“Don’t worry about what to wear, I’ve got the perfect outfit in mind. Leave that to me.” And with that, Rey closed the door behind her and set her cup and the new brochure down at her desk, ready to begin more hours of research.


	2. Gala Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @force_jedi on instagram for pre-reading this chapter, she's amazing so check her account out!
> 
> Enjoy and once again, let me know your thoughts! <3

“Ben.” She smiled as his features softened slightly as though she had just whispered a secret. Saying his name was all she wanted to do, it sounded perfect to say. It felt perfect. Her name on his lips, in his low but calming voice sounded even better, “What do you want to know?” she answered, trying to focus on maintaining her composure. 

His eyes seemed to study her face carefully, as though he could forget it at any moment. Every freckle, eyelash, strand of hair managed to catch his eye and she allowed herself to trace and follow the moles along his face, like constellations she hoped to keep replaying in her mind. She knew that she would never tire of them and if given the chance would trace each one with her fingers, “Anything. Everything.” His voice was so soft and fragile and she feared that it might break at any moment.

“That’s a lot to cover over the course of one party. ” as she smiled managing to remain composed, but her thoughts deceived her actions, focusing on only him. Rey had the chance to ask him anything, if he had seen anyone suspicious? Anyone that had been scoping out about the diamonds? But all she seemed to be able to think about was Ben, nothing else seemed to matter in that moment. If he felt their connection upon first glance, if he liked her as quickly as she liked him, If she was crazy for feeling this way? 

Luckily, before she was about to embarrass herself by asking a question, he started speaking again, “Tell me something about you.” she could feel her smile widen, no one had ever wanted to know about her, she was a nobody, “Anything. No matter how random, just the first thing that pops into your head.”

She paused for a moment but broke into a nervous smile before answering, “This is actually my first gala.” It’s also her first big mission, but she knew she couldn’t tell him that even if she wanted to. 

Rey hadn’t thought it was possible for someone to be both timid and bold, but it seemed as though he was relishing in their conversation, both the teasing and her company (she hoped). His shy smile seemed to light up the room, comforting her in a way she didn’t think was possible for a man she’d only met and danced with for less than an hour, “You’re doing great so far,” He whispered in her ear as they started to sway again to the music, “Me, I’ve been lucky enough to bump into the most beautiful girl at this entire gala and get her to dance with me.”

“If you wanted to get rid of me so you can go and find her again, you could’ve just told me,” She smirked, meeting his face again to take a glimpse at his grin.

She thought he couldn’t get any closer but he did, and as he started to speak again she could barely concentrate on the words, too focused on the heat of his breath on her skin, “It’s- You’re better than any prize or antique they are trying to auction off, trust me.” And she did. She didn’t know why, but some part of her knew that she could. They moved together, connecting their foreheads as his words escaped his lips breathlessly. She’d always been a nobody, first an orphan and then a charity case but his words seemed to make her forget all about that life. It was like he was re-writing her life and suddenly she didn’t feel so alone anymore. The funny thing was that she didn’t care, she wanted him to. 

Rey muttered, “I know how you feel.” but it was so quiet that she didn’t think Ben would’ve been able to hear. It seemed he had though when his eyes flickered down to her lips, his head tilting along with hers. His hand came up to rest and cup her cheek, the other still around her waist and Rey’s arm pressed in closer to his chest whilst the other draped carelessly around his neck. Eyes fluttering shut, she felt their lips brush together, in a tentative dance. It seemed that they would meet any second but they didn’t, her stomach sank at the sound of his watch, near her face, beeping in short pulses, jolting her eye to open once again.  
Shit, the mission. She hadn’t come here to meet someone, she had a job to do, an important one at that. This was their one chance, how could she live if she messed it up for a pair of pretty eyes? A pair of really pretty, hazel eyes…

His eyes widened as he stared at his watch, his face covered in fear and shock, “I’m so sorry, I have to go.” Disconnecting his arms from around her was like ripping the planets from their orbits, everything about it had felt utterly wrong but he did it nonetheless. Rey took a step back, he must have too, knowing full well that she would be tempted to forget about the mission if they collided with one another again. If only they had met on another day, another place, another lifetime perhaps. His eyes covered with grief but he seemed to manage a small smile, it was laced with sadness, her face couldn’t have been any different. “I-“ He stumbled over his sentences, unsure of what to say before slumping his shoulders in defeat and stepping further back, losing himself in the crowd without saying goodbye.

She stood, rooted to the spot, staring at the space he had been only moments earlier, hoping that he would re appear or a feeble attempt to memorise every glance, movement and word Ben had spoken to her, in fear that she may forget it. It was only then, in her recount, that she had realised she had given up her real name, Rey. Not ‘Maz Kanata’, the fake name she’d used to get in. Idiot! First big mission and she’d already screwed up!

But Ben had seemed trustworthy, a part of her believed him so she hoped that Ben wouldn’t cause any problems for her, or for the mission. In fact seeing him again wouldn’t be a problem of any kind, more like a blessing. Maybe she should have asked for some kind of phone number or email address, but it was probably for the better, she knew that it could’ve jeopardised the entire mission. 

After what seemed like forever, she knew she’d wasted enough time and began moving through the crowd, towards the shady figure she had her sights set on before she had met Ben. However, As much as she convinced herself she wasn’t looking, her eyes betrayed her as they flickered from face to face searching for any sign of Ben. There wasn’t any. Perhaps he really had needed to go, but either way she pressed on until she reached an empty corridor to the left of the main hall. Remembering the layout from her research earlier, she shot around one of the corners and headed down the stairs, her heels tapping quickly behind her. So far so good, she thought as the steel door holding the antiques came into sight. Removing one of her stud earrings, she pressed the hook into the metal, making sure to step back before it ignited. Exploding jewellery was a personal favourite of hers. 

As she pulled the door open she saw the podium in the centre of the room, surrounded by strips of lights she presumed was the security system. Finally, the diamond. A breath of relief escaped her lips, but it came too early, she couldn’t see it anywhere. The diamond had disappeared. “It’s not here,” She muttered, shocked, “I-I don’t understand –“

Before she could allow her thoughts and words to continue, the creaking of metal pulled her away. The door behind the podium, directly ahead of her, began to open. Rey had considered making a run for it, but the possibility of seeing the First Order officer had won her over, if she had a chance, no matter how small, to identify one of them then maybe the mission wouldn’t have been a total failure! 

All the hope that she had had escaped as the culprit squeezed through the gap in the door. Her heart raced, pulse quickening in shock but before she had the chance to speak his name, the name that only moments ago had seemed perfect – “Rey? What the hell are you doing down here?”

Everything about him had been the same, except the emotion in his eyes had been drained, instead a lifeless and disconnected gaze stared at her. His eyes, once full of emotion were now disturbingly guarded, “I could ask you the same question, Ben!” 

“I’m l- Wait, where’s the diamond? Bloody Resistance, how did they find out about this? They’re good I’ll give them that!” His voice laced with anger, she saw his hands begin to thread through his hair, brushing it backwards in frustration. Less than an hour ago, she would’ve been tempted to brush the falling strands back, but now? Well, she still wanted to but she couldn’t shake the pit growing in her stomach.

The truth hit Rey like a truck, how could she have been so stupid? “Oh my god.” She barely registered him asking ‘what’, too focused on the realisation of what she had almost done, they had almost done. So focused on how perfect and right they had been together, “Oh shit. You’re the First Order operative!?” 

“How did you- Let me guess, Resistance?” she nodded, hearing a series of expletives escape his mouth. She had been too focused on his charms; she hadn’t even considered him being the criminal she was looking for! Pacing back and forth, she tried to find the words that seemed to rush around her head. Before either of them could process what was happening the room flooded red as the wails of the alarm rung through the speakers, “You have got to be kidding me!” 

Their eyes seemed to meet across the lights, confusion and worry apparent on both their faces, she thought it felt too much like a final goodbye, unlike the one he had given to her earlier, back when they didn’t know. If they did would it have gone the same way? Would she have almost kiss- but before she could finish that thought, the moment was ripped away from them as they turned, heading out the way they arrived, their minds scrambling to think of an explanation. About the diamond or about each other, Rey didn’t know but she didn’t want to wait around any longer to figure it out.

Normally the alarm clock would force her out of sleep but her arm reached out to tap the stop button on her phone before it screamed out, her eyes staying fixed on the ceiling, as they had been the whole night. She had tried to sleep but her brain refused, instead tearing itself apart wondering who Ben really was. Was he lying to get close to her? At the time it had seemed so real, as though they had both felt the unspoken thing instantly, but maybe she was wrong. As much as she tried to get him out of her head, the memory of their lips brushing together stayed a constant, as though taunting her of how quickly she fell for his lies. Was his name even Ben? She didn’t let herself focus on the lack of his warmth. 

She didn’t even remember pulling herself out of bed, getting dressed and driving to work. It all seemed a blur, her mind split about last night. Could he have felt what she did? Maybe it was wishful thinking, it shouldn’t matter anyway. He was First Order, why did she keep thinking about him so much?

Walking into work, she continued to function on autopilot, heading to her desk before being ushered into Leia’s room for a debriefing. It was only when she’d been asked to take a seat that she remembered the diamond. Shit. Her thoughts too preoccupied with tearing themselves in two, that she hadn’t thought what to tell the Resistance about the missing diamond! It was there last hope and she was too busy thinking about the enemy!

“Rey?” She snapped her head round to meet Leia’s, it seemed that she had called her a few times but was too busy to register it. She hummed in response before she continued, “How did the mission go, did you manage to find the diamond?” 

Her time had run out, perhaps she could brush over her meeting with Ben and focus instead on what she was supposed to, “Well…” 

Leia’s sigh broke through the silence, face dropping, “They got it didn’t they?” Suddenly standing and pacing round the room before shouting, “First Order bastards!”

“Actually-“

“We have to assume they have already sold it. It’s the only way we can ensure everyone is safe.” Rey tried to repeat herself but Leia’s panicked voice drowned her out, “I have a few last favours I could call in, maybe get the staff new names, remove all their connections from the database…”

“They don’t have the diamond.” A muffled ‘what’ was spoken but Rey continued, “The First Order, they don’t have it. When I cracked the safe it was already gone and I saw the other spy come in after me.” Everything seemed to go quiet for a few minutes, only their breathing filling the room. Maybe she knew what had happened, who she met. Calling him ‘the other spy’ was obviously too informal, right?

The silence was soon broken by Leia’s careful words, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Leia, they don’t have the diamond. We have another shot to take them down…” 

“We just need to know where it went. Start tracing everything antique that came in and out of the auction, sold or not. I’ll get Poe and Rose to monitor any reference to a diamond.” Voice filled with happiness as she began frantically sorting through documents and handing them to Rey before excitedly ushering her out of the door. Just as the door shut however, it cracked open again as she called out, “and you are leading the whole thing. Not only do we have another shot, but you can identify one of their officers!”

Rey let out a nervous smile before turning back to her desk. “He had to be First Order didn’t he, couldn’t have been a rich asshole looking to buy an antique..” she muttered, covering her face with her hands. She had a bad feeling about this.


	3. Tip Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys!
> 
> I know a lot of people have gone back to school/college etc so hopefully that's going well! I'm going back next week too, so i'm hoping to continue posting a chapter every other week or twice a month but we will see! 
> 
> Thank again to @force_jedi on instagram / @bensoloforce on ao3 for pre-reading this! 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts so far in the comments!
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Her eyes were focused on reading page after page of newspapers whilst her fingers glided across the keyboard, the clicking of keys filling the silence in the office.

It had been a week since they had met, his smile still dancing across her view, a reminder of her happiness. Only then to be followed by the thought of his true identity – a First Order operative.

She shouldn’t still be thinking of him, thinking of that night and their meeting, but against all better judgement she was. 

In the hours laying, staring at the ceiling, she’d thought about it all. How Ben had probably told everyone about her, after all she had been dumb enough to give her real name. In fact, she half expected a hitman to show up at her door but she hadn’t been that lucky yet. There was still time.

About how Ben’s face in the vault had seemed lifeless and void, Ben’s guarded and lifeless stare haunting her, keeping her awake at night, as though it was begging for her help.

Despite throwing herself into work, as an attempt to distract herself more than anything else, she couldn’t find any knowledge of his name being associated with the First Order, or any criminal activity for that matter. Ben was a complete and utter ghost. Rey thought she might’ve had more luck if she knew his surname, but she doubted it was the truth anyway. Knowing her luck, it was all a lie. 

The phone buzzed, the light flickering from its stand on her desk , her eyes automatically wincing with sleep at the clock. 11:17pm. Who the hell was calling her now? Before she allowed her thoughts to run wild again, she lifted it to her ear, “Hello?”

“Rey, it’s Rose. I tried calling your cell but I figured you might still be at work - Listen, we need you here now, there’s been reports of a break in. I’ll text you the address but you need to get here as soon as you can!”

“Oh shit, I’m on my way.” She said, grabbing her leather jacket and heading out the door before she had put the phone down, now fully awake.

-

Before Rey had even switched the engine of her car off, she was ushered into the scene by others, both people wanting a look and officers. 

“Rey!” Rose’s voice seemed to carry along the crowd, once she reached her friend she continued speaking, she must have known that she’d want a run down. “We got a tip off that the First Order might be targeting this shop. As far as we can see though there’s been no sign of forced entry except one motion sensor inside.” 

Somewhere in front of her she heard cellphones screaming, pulling her eyes to assess the building. It could have been passed completely unnoticed, there was no sign of any movement inside. But somehow she felt drawn to it, as though maybe there was something, or perhaps someone inside that was crucial.

She knew why she’d been called, as head of the First Order mission, but it all seemed so unlike them. They never got a tip off, especially whilst the robbery was supposedly happening, perhaps it was a distraction? To get them all out of the building? Perhaps a mission to find out more about her. In a moment of remembrance, she had panicked that maybe Ben wasn’t as trustworthy as she’d hoped. How stupid of her to even consider that he would have kept their meeting a secret!

“A jewellery shop?” Rey muttered, they may have been after the diamond but none of items in there combined would reach anywhere near £22 million! Before she could continue on, Poe, appearing from behind Rose, handed her a printed sheet of paper with the shop name in the corner. She didn’t spend long looking at anything else, her eyes captivated by the stunning picture of a necklace in the centre, it’s long, thin chain holding a diamond gem drop, hanging loosely around the mannequin neck. Rey could picture the fade from pink to purple in the diamond reflecting against the lights of a ballroom, glittering and shining.

She’d never been one for jewellery, or makeup, but she couldn’t help imagine how they weight of the necklace would feel around her neck, how all eyes would be on her, at the gem around her neck, everyone stunned by it’s beauty. But even in her fantasy, he was there. He had taken them over. His palm gently holding, caressing her hands, staring at her face with a small smile as though the necklace wasn’t the most beautiful thing in his sight. 

A series of shouts in front of her ripped her away from her thoughts, she wanted to find it in herself to be angry at the dream, but she knew she wanted to hold onto it a little longer, “He’s refusing to talk to us!” “What, we should give in to his demand?” “What harm-“

To calm them down, she walked in between them, hands out as though to stop them fighting, “Hey, what’s going on?” They seemed to stare at her a moment, dumbstruck. Perhaps they weren’t expecting her to arrive so soon. She’d never spoken to them before, maybe seen either of them a few times when she was taking her infamous coffee breaks, or perhaps one had stayed late a few nights and she saw him leave.

“Whoever’s inside has called us. But they’re refusing to talk to anyone but you.” He spoke, his hand outstretched to her with the phone pointing in it. 

“Me?”

“Yeah, refuses to talk to anyone but Rey.” 

Her heart beating furiously, she knew she’d been caught. Almost instantly, once her name had been spoken, she’d felt it. Her mistake had finally caught up with her. This whole tip off was probably a plan by the First Order to kill her. And all of this for a pair of pretty eyes. What an idiot she had been. Perhaps if Poe hadn’t spoken to her earlier on about his love life then she wouldn’t have been so easily swayed. Yeah, she though, it was definitely because of that. It wasn’t. But, for the first time in her life, she cursed her frequent breaks for caffeine. 

She wondered if she would have time to get everyone else out and away, just in case they attacked, she guessed they had people ready in each building corner. Maybe even some mixed in with her on the ground, amidst the chaos. It was practically impossible with the phone staring at her, reminding her that they were listening, whoever they were. Perhaps she could bargain though, see what they wanted that could buy her enough time to get everyone to safety. It was the least she could offer after her screw up.

Reluctantly grabbing the phone from her colleague, she released a large breath, uncaring if the sound carried through to the person on the other end of the phone, instead sticking the cell to her ear to hear, speaking quickly as though she was aware she may lose her confidence at any time, “Hello?” She spoke, testing the voice on the other end. No response. “This is Rey speaking.”

A sigh filled the conversation, despite being a phone call, the sound of it sent shivers down her spine. What did they want? Why her? “It’s so nice to hear your voice again.” 

So it was a him. Whoever he was, his voice was deep and confident and in another situation she may have thought it was charming. She thought back to another voice, the one that filled her thoughts all week. At first listen she could’ve got them confused, but his voice was softer around the edges whereas John Doe’s over the phone had a sharper, more strict sound. He’d said ‘Again’ though. Since when had she met him? Who even was ‘he’?

Why had she even started comparing the two anyway, they were completely different. Weren’t they? She remembered how Ben’s face had grinned at her, open and bursting with emotions for, only minutes later, his eyes to turn guarded. Could that voice belong to him or was it just wishful thinking?

“Ben?” She spoke so silently it would’ve been missed by anyone other than him. She hoped it would have anyway, not knowing what the next move would be if it was, her heart and mind in a tug of war. Would she even be able to tell the Resistance about him now, especially since she had brushed quickly over the portion of the night she had spent with him.

“Ah, so you do remember.” Rey stood frozen, unable to move. It seemed like a dream, maybe if she closed her eyes she could wake up. She hoped that she’d just been dreaming about him again and that her alarm would pierce her eyes open again and force her out of it all, but he started speaking again and she knew it was real. He was real. “Please, whilst we’re both working lets be professional. It’s Kylo.”

Rey glanced nervously at the other operatives gathered around the shop, their gazes averted luckily, too busy looking at the buildings and one another, so she continued, making sure to keep her voice as quiet as possible, “What the hell are you playing at, Kylo?” She spat his name, releasing all the anger that had grown since last week. She’d never been an angry person, Poe had even wondered if she could be anything but happy or concentrated, but within the space of a week that had all changed. She was mad, at herself mainly, for allowing herself to be duped, played by a First Order operative no less! 

“Nothing.” She should’ve known he would’ve been able to see through her anger and decipher what she truly meant, what she needed to know, “I didn’t tell anyone, by the way. About you.” Before she could open her mouth to begin to ask why, he continued, “And, judging by how quietly you’re speaking, I’d gamble that you haven’t either.”

Of course he’d been right. His voice had almost sounded relieved when she didn’t answer, as though he had let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding in, a small part of him uncertain. “Why haven’t you? You could’ve had me killed by now, hell, you probably could’ve done it yourself.” Rey’s hand nervously ran though her hair in an attempt to calm down her rapid thoughts.

But the word escaped his lips and it seemed to freeze those thoughts, soothing her instantly. “Rey.” It was a question. A silent, unspoken question. She knew then that he’d felt it too, the memory of it all flooding back, their bodies pressed together, close and warm, to the gentle sway of the music.

Answering, saying his name would admit everything. Her feelings, thoughts, dreams about him. The memory of his touch, the memory of it all and how it danced around her head, playing on repeat. 

Once he had said her name though, she knew that he’d felt exactly the same too, could almost picture him laying in bed, just like her, thinking of that night, wishing and hoping that they had met some other way. She couldn’t leave him without an answer. Her lips automatically opened, desperately replying before her rational mind could stop her, “Ben.”

Almost instantly after, she’d felt someone’s hand brush past hers, in a moment of weakness she dreamed it was his, as though his voice had somehow refreshed the memory of their skin pressing against one another. 

She flicked her head slightly, whether to apologise or check if it had really happened, she wasn’t sure. Her eyes locked onto the culprit, her whole body completely and utterly stunned. There he was, right in front of her. After dreaming about him, she could hardly believe he was really there, she could touch him if she wanted to.

It was another sign that he had been confident she hadn’t mentioned him. He trusted her. He must have, to risk being right in front of her, seconds away. Rey didn’t know why but she trusted him too, enough so that she refused to find the effort to alert someone to his presence straight away.

Even under the dim light of the midnight sky, his hair still shone blue around the edges, as though a halo had permanently surrounded him. He looked the same as that first night, perhaps his hair had grown a little and the lines under his eyes had deepened. Maybe he too had trouble sleeping without being reminded of them, together. Her eyes fluttering to notice his lips, full and irresistibly kissable. His mouth parted, grinning as his words echoing through the phone, straight into her ear, “Miss me?” 

Before she could force her body to respond, she noticed he had been constantly moving backwards, the distance between them growing. A part of Rey was tempted to walk towards him, the pull towards him too strong. 

She may have trusted him, but she had to do her job, she couldn’t allow him to ruin that. Her eyes flickered either side, glancing at the other officers. Ben gave her a nod in response, he knew that she’d have to give him up at some point, recognising her signal instantly. Once she’d heard the rev of a car, she’d turned back to glare at the source, in the direction of him, her colleagues following.

“That’s my car!” Rey screamed, “He’s nicked my car!” Some of the officers besides her were pointing and shouting too, others running to follow him but all she could focus on was his laughter. It had burst into her ears and she saw him drive off as the line went dead. Cursing under her breath, she stared at the others, how the hell was she supposed to get home now? Prick. 

The rest of the team had begun to disband, heading their separate ways, like they normally did after an unsuccessful mission, Rey scurrying past and heading for the bus stop. For the first time in a while, she didn’t want to talk to anyone, managing to miss Rose and Poe on her way out. 

The whole bus ride home, she tried to remember exactly how Ben’s laugh had sounded and worried about him driving her car. After having very little when she was young, and on the streets, she had to learn to keep important things safe, always planning what the next step was. She refused to be caught out by life anymore. For some reason though, Ben had come into her life and thrown it out of orbit and that was completely okay. She’d tried to deny it, but after today she completely and utterly failed. He’d fit himself into her life, and she, it seemed, into his. 

Rey was so deep in thought, she missed her bus stop.


	4. The Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! <3
> 
> So i've gone back to school this week so I haven't had a lot of time to write, but 2 days ago I got sent home to self-isolate so I've been writing as much as I can!
> 
> There's a little POV switch towards the end of this one so let me know what you think! 
> 
> Thanks, as always, to @force_jedi (on instagram) for pre-reading this and correcting my awful spelling mistakes! 
> 
> <3  
> Take care everyone and enjoy! xx

Rey missed her car.

She’d been lucky enough to get an old mini cooper for a couple of hundred pounds, only after bartering the owner behind the counter. Unkar Plutt had been kind enough to throw in a radio after she figured out the mechanic was underage and suggested that the knowledge might appear at a police station the next day, should the deal be denied.

If she was thankful for anything in life, it was her detective skills. They came in handy for bartering down. When she was younger, she’d often have to rely on this to get by, week by week.

For the years she had her mini, she took great care of it. Being one of the first things Rey had ever managed to buy with her new paycheck at the resistance, it was one of her most prized possessions. It still is. Sure, it wasn’t the most modern car, but it was hers completely and that’s what mattered.

It had been over a week since he’d driven off with her car and she missed it. Her nights, if not filled with the memory of his smile, were filled with dread over the thought of him ruining her car. She refused to imagine her car in such an awful condition.

As She had made her way out of her apartment, ready to walk to work, she froze, her cup of coffee spilling all over the floor. There it sat, in the early hours of Monday morning , as though it had never moved.

He’d given it back.

The first thing she noticed is that it had been cleaned, she walked closer to inspect it and realised that every inch of it had been polished, almost glowing under the sun. It looked brand new but it was the same car, she’d know that car anywhere.

The second thing she noticed was the plain, white envelope tucked neatly under the window wipers.

She vaguely wondered if it had been parked on double yellow lines, perhaps a ticket or a warning. ‘REY’ scribbled on the front made her throw this theory out in exchange for one she hoped was true. It was Ben, it had to be.

Without thinking, she ripped it open, pulling out a set of car keys, her car keys. They still had the one keyring she’d found when she was younger, the orange, white and black droid image catching her eye.

He’d given them back, why? She’d tried to track it but all of the surveillance cameras had glitched, Ben could’ve gotten away with it. Why didn’t he? Rey’s mind whirled. She wondered if it was all a trick, could it be a warning? A message? A bomb? Maybe he was showing that she wasn’t safe, that the hitman would be taking the shot any minute now.

At the memory of his soft expression, his caring eyes, any doubt in him had seemed a ridiculous concept. As much as she wanted to make herself wary, the thought of their call, his vulnerable voice through the phone, cut through the worries. Instead, making her unlock her car and get in the drivers seat.

Everything was as she left it. There wasn’t a single crumb or wrapper on the floor, he had kept it tidy. She liked that. If anyone asked Rey would deny it but she couldn’t help her mouth forming a small smile at the thought of Ben, sitting in her car, probably hunching over with is broad shoulders, almost paranoid about making any mess. His eyes would probably go wide, his body reaching over to pick up crumbs as his hand rested on the dashboard, supporting his weight.

His hands! She hadn’t checked for fingerprints, hadn’t even thought about wearing gloves!

After calling the forensic team, she set about trying to remember which areas would be compromised. She had run her hands along each newly polished area, and there had been a lot.

For what seemed like the hundredth time, he’d distracted her from doing her job. That was the worry about all of this, if he was being truthful with her, how much longer could she ignore her job?

Fuck.

In an attempt to stop her mind from whirling, she set about searching the car for any physical clues, small wrappers, papers, anything that may have accidently fallen out or ended up where they weren’t supposed to. She knew that she’d already given it a once over but she needed to be sure, she had to do at least one part of her job correctly.

Rey checked every door compartment, nothing. Once again she found herself admitting that he was good at his job. Really good.

She clicked open the glove compartment, expecting her usual coffee shop loyalty cards, CDs and random assortment of pens chucked in there that were probably “borrowed without intent to return” from the office. She quickly learnt when she was younger to avoid using the word ‘stolen’.

Instead, in the middle of the compartment, clearly placed in the centre, a black box. She seemed to stare at it for hours, she reasoned that there really might be a bomb inside that would need diffusing, so she should check inside just in case. That’s what she’d told herself anyway.

Popping the lid off, her eyes were drawn to a small piece of paper, once again placed with care inside, however she was drawn to the delicate strokes of the pen,

_Rey,_

_I look forward to hopefully hearing from you, away from prying ears._

_Yours,_

_Ben x_

She lifted the piece closer, her eyes fixed on the ‘x’ as though if she looked long enough it would disappear. She hoped it wouldn’t. The lines were strong, unmistakable. Ben had meant to put it at the end.

Rey caught the shape of something solid in the box, underneath the letter, the phone’s black brick-like shape weighing the box down. 

Clicking a few buttons, she saw there was only one contact, without a number but in small green writing a ‘call’ sign. “Ben,” she muttered. It had been the first time she’d been able to say his name out loud since the gala and instantly she realised how much she had missed it, how perfect it sounded.

A sudden movement next to her made her glimpse out the window, alerting her to a figure strolling towards her car, the forensic team had arrived.

She must have been gawking at that letter for longer than she realised. Before any of them could see and rip it away from her, she shoved the note and box into her bag, stepping out of the car, ready to dodge as many questions as possible to run upstairs and stare at Ben’s letter a little longer.

In all honesty, she should have logged the phone and note, as well as the fingerprints it could have carried. They were all evidence. But bringing it up now, including pulling it out of her bag would have looked worse. And Ben was no idiot, she doubted he would become careless over something as basic as a box. It wouldn’t have any fingerprints on but hers.

“Hey Chewy,” He gave one of his happier grunts in response, “Thanks for coming out so quickly. I’m going to head back upstairs, I think I left something in my room. Give me a shout if you find any fingerprints!” She thought she saw his hand wave her away but she’d already started lunging away.

Once she’d pushed herself up the stairs and heard her door slam, she rummaged through her bag, only stopping once the note and phone had been laid neatly on the table.

The letter was still intact. She let out a shaky breath of relief.

The temptation to throw her plans out the window and call was overwhelming, but she couldn’t. Shouldn’t. Meeting him was dangerous enough, but talking to him, the enemy, was unforgivable. How could she ever explain that to Leia, that she fell for the very spy she’s supposed to be chasing, and winning against. How could she throw her career, her family away for a First Order spy?

She gripped the phone, ready to throw it out of the nearest window, but her eyes locked onto his letter. Each word perfectly written, as though he hadn’t needed to go through several attempts because he’d placed his pen on the page with such care. The kiss at the end, a reminder of their almost one at the gala.

Could calling Ben be so bad? Her finger hovered over the call button, how long could she keep lying to herself?

She had done everything asked of her, never once arresting the wrong person, pouring her life into the Resistance. Maybe it was time she was selfish, took something back. A few minutes couldn’t hurt, she wouldn’t share any confidential information, but she just wanted to hear his voice, even for a few minutes. Her finger met the screen, the ringing sounds seemed to travel through her, sending nervous shivers down her spine.

Then it stopped. It could’ve been seconds after or a minute after she’d pressed down but the chills had stopped. His voice cut through the silence, breathless and shocked, “Hi.”

\--

“ _Last Friday night, there was a lot of commotion outside ‘Republic Antiques’, our source at the scene claims there was a suspected break in however none of the cameras inside or outside the building show any movement, except one motion sensor. There were no signs of entry either but a witness claims they heard someone drive off in a stolen car. Reports show no knowledge of the criminal’s identity or location for the car yet._

_In other news, Famous Lawyer Lando Calrissian has won another case…”_

Reaching out to click the radio off, the room filled with silence, the low sound of breathing breaking it.

She hadn’t told anyone, again. He felt a grin form on his mouth, a smile of undeniable happiness.

Since they had first bumped into each other, he had felt mesmerised by her. As their eyes connected, he had felt their souls connect, and he knew she saw him, truly saw him. None of the masks he’d been made to use around people, none of the secret identities he had been forced to memorise. Just simply, Ben.

He didn’t want to be her enemy. With her, he wanted to be Ben.

Just as she saw him, he saw Rey. The strength, power in her. He’d been rendered breathless, the memory of his name on her lips was intoxicating. In the moments he’d allowed his mind to race, he wished he was an artist so that he would be able to capture her beauty, but he knew even drawings wouldn’t do her justice.

She had changed everything.

Years of his life had passed by, dragging on, each one a step closer to his death. And within the space of a few weeks that had all changed, every day seemed different, like a new opportunity. To see her, to talk to her, to be with her. She had taken over his nightmares, filling them with her smile, as though she were the sun, coming in after so long and banishing every inch of darkness that had grown in the time she was away.

After being dealt a bad hand in life, he had never been a big believer in the universe and it’s “plan” but this was fate, it had to be. He felt like he belonged with her, finally had someone that could see him and he knew that she understood him too. Just as he had understood her.

“Kylo, open up!” A booming voice forced him to stop daydreaming and stare at the door, “Stop pissing about, open up!”

Reluctantly, his body lifted out of the chair, slowly walking over to unlock the door and greet a furious face. “Hux, an absolute pain to see you, as always.”

Ben hated him. He wouldn’t even know where to begin to explain why. For starters, he couldn’t think of an idea for himself if his life depended on it, but he could slick his greasy, ginger hair back with so much gel that even a hurricane couldn’t move it.

He barged into Ben so hard that he had to grip the door harder for support. Hux waited until the door was shut before lifting his finger towards Ben and continuing to shout, “Cut the shit, did you break into that shop on Friday?”

“I thought the diamond might be there,” He huffed back, folding himself back into the chair he was sitting in before. “I was wrong.”

This only managed to infuriate Hux even more, “You’re full of shit, you know that?” Instead of pointing a finger in his direction, this time he tried to use his height to tower over the man in the chair, “I don’t care what you did or didn’t find, when it starts putting unnecessary attention on the First Order, I want a good reason.”

Ben Forced himself back up from the chair, he towered over the other, leaving him cowering backwards as he spat a response back, “None of your business.” He was so close he could see Hux’s attempts to swallow his fear down, only encouraging Ben on further, almost a challenge to see how scared he truly was of him, “If I remember rightly, I’m higher up than you. If you want to threaten me, _I_ want a good reason.” 

His eyes grew wide, taking a few steps back he tried to compose himself, “This isn’t over.” He reached behind himself for the door, as if Ben would pounce at him the moment he detached his watch from him, and once it was open he continued, “People are talking, and it won’t be long before the Supreme Leader finds out.”

The slam of the door echoed for a few minutes after his exit, the sound piercing through the silence.

As much as Ben hated him, Hux had been right. He was lying. How could he tell an organisation of spies that he had met their enemy, and become completely mesmerised by her? They weren’t exactly the friendliest group of people.

At first, he thought he was still hearing the slam of the door echo in his mind, but he soon realised the buzz was real, and it was coming from inside his jacket pocket. Who the hell would be calling him at this time in the morning? Starting the day with a visit from Hux was probably a curse, the rest of the day was most likely cursed too.

Reaching into his jacket pocket, he felt the vibrations ripple through his fingers. When he pulled the device into view he realised it wasn’t his normal phone, it was the new one. He’d only brought this a few days ago, an impulsive purchase, that had only one number logged in it.

It was Rey. It had to be.

He hadn’t been expecting a call so early, a small part of him considered that she would throw the damn thing away. For some reason, by some miracle, she hadn’t.

Almost instantly he pressed the device to his ear, filling it with the sounds of soft, shaky breaths. He wanted to wait, anticipate who would break the silence, give in first. But her breaths grew shallower, and he knew that she had thrown herself in the deep end by calling. It was his turn to jump.

Without waiting another minute he dove in, “Hi.”


	5. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I hope everyone's alright!
> 
> I'm so sorry this is a few days late, I was struggling to write this chapter as I wanted it to be exactly how I pictured it! I really hope you enjoy it, and as always, let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks again to @force_jedi on instagram for pre-reading this!
> 
> WARNING: slightly NSFW? There's nothing explicit, just implied :) if you don't want to read it, finish the chapter at 'it was all she could focus on.'

The silence once he had clicked the green button was deafening. As if each second made their nerves grow colder, more distant. Instead, he swallowed his growing fear, focusing on trying to hear her voice once again.

“Hi.” The ice had been broken. The fast-paced breathing appearing to slow through the phones’ speaker, giving him the confidence to continue, “I’ve got to be honest, I wasn’t expecting a call so quickly. I’m glad though.” his voice softened at the end, almost unconsciously, as though he had tried to maintain his confidence and composure, but that final confession down the phone seemed to rip through him.

For a few moments, the silence continued, as though maybe the ice had only appeared broken, just to taunt him as it laughed at his mistakes, but the breathing slowed and the voice sung through the phone…

“You were right.” Her voice faltered, as though her face might have been stained with an unwanted tear. His mind whirled, trying to remember what he had said, had he made her cry? If that was the price of being right, he never wanted to be right.

Before he could force his voice to whisper out an apology, she continued, “I didn’t- couldn’t, tell anyone about you. I don’t want to.”

Relief would be the only way to describe his first thought, his mouth turning into a slight grin, “Neither do I –“

“But I should, don’t you see?” The worst thing about this whole thing was that she too was right. He should. But despite all logic reasoning and years of training, the thought of betraying her, shook his very soul. “I shouldn’t be doing this, we shouldn’t. I shouldn’t feel…” A choked cry echoed through the room, his own voice going cold at the sound. He already knew the memory of it would haunt him, return to him in his darkest moments. It always seemed to know his weakness.

Just as his lips opened, imploring her to finish, a sharp knock sounded on her door forcing a muttered cursed from her lips.

She had to go. Of course she did. As much as he had refused to believe it, he knew that this would happen. After all, they were supposed to be devoting every day to taking the other down. But at that moment, Ben had finally decided: All or nothing. And Rey was all he could think about.

But, should she deny him, refuse to put her life, career at risk for him, he would step away.

The thought tore him apart, as though even the idea of tearing them apart was enough to make his heart cry.

Despite everything, Ben founding himself smiling at the comments she made under her breath, as though they were made just for him to hear. He could hold onto that thought, if nothing else.

“You can’t talk to me anymore, I get that. Here’s the deal Rey, I’ll call you. Later. If you don’t answer, you’ll never hear another beep from me or that phone. It’ll be like we never met.” His composure cracked slightly at the thought of him having to leave her alone, rip her from his memories and his dreams.

Her voice sounded shattered too, perhaps he dreamt it, such a reality was too good to be true, “And if I answer?”

How could he begin to describe it, what he would give to her should she allow him to be around her, filled with her beauty and light.

“Well, I think we’ll find out. Together.”

\--

She flicked through the reports on her desk, attempting to focus on her work but instead having to re-read the first few lines over and over. She couldn’t concentrate. His words circling around her mind.

_We’ll find out._

What was there to find out?

She refused to listen to the answers in her mind, choosing to ignore them. Deep down, she knew.

_Together._

That seemed to play on repeat, her heart fluttering at the memory. It shouldn’t have sounded so appealing. But when she allowed her thoughts to roam, the answer was clear. The way their bodies had intertwined, danced together, was incredible. It was as though she could feel his thoughts, his movements before he made them, their souls colliding.

 _Together_.

That’s all that mattered. Is that they would stay together. She knew that having him in her dreams would never be enough.

She had until later to decide anyway. In the meantime, she took a swig of her tea and began reading today’s file, again. Her eyes flickering over the first page.

_‘Sources claim that…’_

She managed three words before her thoughts started again…

He’d said later.

When exactly was ‘later’? Would it be a few hours, maybe later meant during the week?

How long would he wait to call again? More importantly, how long could she last now that she had heard his voice, could tap the screen and be connected to him within seconds. That seemed to almost kill her, her eyes flickering over to her bag, checking any movements from inside almost instantly.

Rey found herself taking more toilet breaks where she’d find herself locked in a stall rummaging through her satchel for the phone, the one _he_ called on, spending minutes, hours, memorising the screen.

Before she knew it the work day had ended. The clatter of stationary being thrown half-heartedly into bags and pockets as people raced towards the door aiming to beat the traffic on the tube. Standing up, she too headed for home, not needing to pack her things away for she hadn’t even emptied her bag once she’d arrived, too occupied by her thoughts. By him.

Almost through the doors, minutes closer to ‘later’, a voice called out behind her, “Leaving early are we? That’s rare for you,” Poe’s grin seemed to cover his face, “Hot date?”

“Ha. Ha. I was just heading home, I didn’t manage to get much sleep last night. This First Order assignment is taking up all my time.” Rey laughed nervously, that was one way to put it. More like you’re dreaming about the First Order’s dreamy eyes and his smooth voice through the phone every minute. Taking up all her time was an understatement.

Thankfully Poe seemed to miss her awkwardness, instead carrying on, “Speaking of the First Order, I heard about your car. Why would they just return it like that?”

“Beats me, I’m just glad they gave her back! I was starting to consider getting a taxi to work, getting the bus was driving me insane!” She laughed slightly at the memory of those long journeys on the bus, and the even longer walks to bus stops. However there were the occasional stops for a few pastries or a caffeine fix.

“Did you check the car for fingerprints? Surely there was something you could use?”

Rey froze for a moment, unsure of what to say. How could you tell one of your best friends, your colleague, that there was in fact something they could use. A box, a phone and a letter, all of which could’ve had crucial information on but because you connected with an enemy agent, of which you’d failed to mention to the Resistance, it didn’t get sent into evidence. Perhaps by email? “Nothing. Literally nothing.”

He sighed, “What about trackers?” The silence after hurt. She watched his jaw drop as her body stiffened. She hadn’t thought of that, once she found the box she could hardly focus on anything else! She didn’t reply, how could she? “Please tell me you did check for trackers? Rey? Oh god. Trackers, microphones, cameras?”

She shook her head frantically, “Shit, I-”

“Yeah! We’re in big shit. And by we, I mean _you_!” the groaning increased, his voice getting louder with each second, every word laced with anger, “How could you be so _stupid_? What is wrong with you recently? You’ve put _everyone_ in danger!”

All the words flew from her mouth, except a frenzied apology, “I didn’t mean too, I-“

“Stop. Just stop.” His hands flung out to signal and stop her from moving, his fingers rubbed his temple, face covered in a frown, “I’ll talk to Leia and Chewie. Just go home, Rey.”

“Poe, let me talk to them, I can fix it-“

“You’ve done enough. Go home, before you get us all killed.”

She felt a chill rip through her, the echo of his boots cutting through the silence of the room as she watched him walked into another room, away from her. She stared at the door, wondering whether to run in and continue to apologise but she already knew how stubborn Poe could be. It would be useless. Instead she turned and left, driving home in complete silence.

Her shaky breaths filled the apartment, mixing with the tears that were streaming down her face.

She’d fucked up. Badly.

Poe might have been cruel but it was true, everyone was at risk, because of her. How could she have been so careless, these people had saved her, from her future, and in return she led them to their end.

Rey sat curled up on the sofa, the sound of her hiccups filling the air. Her half eaten attempt at dinner placed carelessly on the table ahead.

She hadn’t realised that her hiccups had stopped, the sound in the air evolving into a bleeping ring. Tracing the sound, she fumbled through her bag, grabbing the pulsing brick. Her phone was ringing.

Her _other_ phone was ringing.

So that’s what ‘later’ meant. It really had meant later to him.

Her mind raced, knowing that everything she worked towards would be put at risk, everyone. A small, unwanted part of her brain thought that she couldn’t do anymore damage that she already had. Her actions already putting everybody at risk, why stop there?

Instead, she thought about Poe’s words, angered and outraged. Rey felt broken. Everything she had done recently, hurt someone. Was she a bad person? Did that make her evil? She’d never meant to be evil but then who does.

Ben seemed to know her. For some strange, unexplainable reason, they knew each other. He would know. He would be able to tell her if she was crazy, after all, they had seemed to slot each other into their lives despite everything. She knew she couldn’t get rid of him, she didn’t want to.

Without a second of hesitation, his voice bled through the phone, the sound of music echoing vaguely in the background, “I thought you weren’t going to answer then, but you did.”

“I did.” She uttered, wiping at her tears.

He seemed to pick up on the smallest falter in her voice, he always did. “Rey, are you okay?”

A shaky breath left her lips, “It-It’s just been a long day,” she almost prepared herself for another person to shout at her, as if he knew everything she’d done and was waiting on the other end of the phone to torment her. "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, hell I shouldn't be talking to you at all..."

“Then don't." For a moment she thought he had put the phone down, the world seemed to stop, as though breaking off the call might break her heart too. After a few seconds he continued, "Do you know what I like to do after a stressful day?” She thought about his “stressful days” but pushed it down, she could focus on that later. His footsteps resounded through the phone, the music in the background getting louder and louder before abruptly stopping, as though someone had frozen time, except his breathing echoed through the phone so she banished the thought, “Put on some music.”

The crackling of a player began and the melody seemed to calm her instantly. ‘Denise Lasalle – Trapped by a Thing Called Love’ played through the speaker, she recognised it instantly. It had been a favourite of hers when she’d found the vinyl thrown onto the side of the road. Using all her new wages from the Resistance, Rey had managed to convert it to a CD at a small shop on the corner of nowhere. He must have seen it in her car.

**Somebody tell me what has this man got?**

**He makes me feel what I don't want to feel**

Rey almost laughed at how perfect the song was, “I see you had a snoop through my CDs.” She giggled at the thought of him seeing stacks of her overplayed collection.

**And somebody tell me what has this man got?**

**He makes me give what I don't want to give**

She hadn’t noticed herself humming until Ben had spoken again, cutting through the music, “Dance with me.” For the past few weeks, she had imagined him, dreamed of him saying those three words, and they sounded exactly like that night, as though he were recalling it, “Imagine that night we met. Imagine I’m there, with you.”

**I'm slowly losin' my ground**

**Slowly sinkin' down**

All she had done since they had met was remember. Remember his smile, his face, his hair, “Trust me, I am…”

**Trapped by this thing they call love**

Her body swayed to the music and she could imagine his moving too, in perfect sync with hers, their bodies joining together in any way possible, as though they were merging into one. Even her legs would brush against his, the contact sending a heat through her. His chest flush with her back, his breath tickling along her ear and neck.

**Hooked on you, baby**

**I just can't help myself**

His arms would trace down the side of her body, as though he were memorising every inch of her. In response, her arm would tighten around his thigh, her other hand would swim the distance to meet his, lacing them together, “Rey…” he muttered, as though they were present in the same dream. Their breaths hitching in time, as though they were connected, “I feel it too, don’t be afraid…”

**And love no one else**

**Baby (hooked on this thing called love)**

With the music fading away, her voice was clearer than ever, “Ben,” Strands of stray hair would caress her cheek, his nose nudging softly into her neck as she tilted her head to one side carelessly.

She’d allow herself believe the illusion for a little longer.

When she’d sat up in bed all night, she had to convince herself that he wasn’t there, that Ben had never been there. It had seemed so real, she wanted it to be. She shouldn’t but she did.

Even hours after, the memory of their breathing through the phone, as though he had been behind her, with her, touching her at the forefront of her mind. It was all she could focus on.

Laying there flustered, she forced her eyes closed, her fingers started moving without thinking, lightly caressing and running themselves down the side of breast, across the side of her rib and along her waist. He would memorise every line, more than once, just incase he forgot the first time. But he wouldn’t. Her other hand hovered over her neck, as though the heat there might replicate the intensity of the one she had thought she felt earlier.

She imagined that her hands were his. 

Ben’s hand would tug up her shirt, revealing the soft skin of her stomach, before running them down, past the waistband around her hips. Caressing and stroking, worshipping every line with his touch.

Ben would be here if he could.

She couldn’t sleep at all that night.


	6. Coffee Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> It's been a while, apologies about that. Things have gotten hectic with University applications, coursework deadlines and mock exams, not even to mention Coronavirus :( 
> 
> I hope you are all well and staying safe <3 Hopefully this chapter can take your mind off of things for a little bit if nothing else.   
> There isn't much Rey and Ben interaction in this chapter but i've planned the next few chapters and they will definitely spend more time together! 
> 
> Without further ado, Enjoy and let me know what you think!

The only word that could describe how she felt when she woke up was embarrassed. 

She had barely managed to calm her nerves down after her phone call with Ben, laying in bed all night, thinking endlessly about him, about them. 

That had been two days ago. It had been two whole days since they had danced, spoken, breathed as one. And then nothing.

Rey was ashamed, of what she had said and done, and how easily it had made her heart flutter. She felt ashamed of how she had allowed herself to get carried away in how they had felt, how they would feel together. But mostly importantly, she just felt embarrassed. For how long she had sat, staring into the phone waiting for some sort of contact from him, anything. 

There had been nothing. No call, no message, no word from him.

In that time, she wondered if a ‘them’ ever even existed. How would it have worked with the real world, if it even could? 

He was a spy for the First Order after all, that’s what she had kept forgetting. And she was with the Resistance. As much as she dreamt that they would have met under different circumstances, she had to understand that they hadn’t. She couldn’t let herself forget it anymore. Rey had a job to do, and she’d already put her life, her friends and the Resistance in danger several times over her newfound enemy or friend, perhaps both. It would do her well to remember that. 

That’s why she had gotten out of bed early today, determined to follow any lead she could find or already had. After all, the longer she spent dancing around in her apartment the more that diamond was slipping away from her grasp. That was one mistake she couldn’t afford to make.

The first few hours at work had been dedicated to finding and learning every detail about the diamond and the auction she was supposed to snatch it up at, before the need for coffee overpowered her body completely. Grabbing her coat, and locking her computer, she made her way down the stairs of the building and out into the fresh air.

Taking a few long and deep breaths in, she turned the corner aiming for the nearest coffee shop, her research this morning occupying her thoughts and keeping her company.

All she’d managed to find out was that that very same auction was held every year, with the exact same exclusive members, with the exception of herself and Ben of course. There were a few additional names being added as she reached another year into its history, but she bookmarked the tab on her computer, deciding against learning hundreds of potentially useless names of wealthy bidders. She assumed they had either stopped attending or stopped being invited. 

She’d also found that it had been created by two brothers some 50 years ago, to raise money for orphans and others that desperately needed money. After conducting a more thorough investigation, she discovered the founders : Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi. It seemed that Anakin was found when he was younger, before he was taught the ins and outs of business by Kenobi. 

That was something that Rey understood, she knew what it was like to owe her success to another, after they saved and protected her.

But what had caught her attention most was that with each year it was held, the had venue changed. It alternated between the founders’ estates each time, she assumed they had wanted to keep the cost as low as possible to raise as much as they could.

This had occurred every year, or almost every year. For some strange reason that Rey couldn’t decipher, 5 years ago, 2015, the Skywalkers would host their final ball, their name almost erased from the auction entirely. They had disappeared. 

Of course she didn’t know how this related to the diamond, or if it was even related at all, but she had a feeling, and trusting her gut had never been wrong before. 

Hearing the waiter call out her name, she headed up to the counter, ready to collect her orders. When the server had asked for her order, she’d naturally ordered two drinks, one for herself and Poe, as they normally did for one another. Only this time, they weren’t on speaking terms. And for a good reason too. 

Whilst she’d been laying in bed, those past few days, thinking about Ben and the phone call, she’d found herself remembering her last conversation with Poe. His shouts filling her ear, reminding her of the carelessness she’d had recently. If nothing else today, she wanted to clear things with Poe or at least try. If there was one thing that Rey hated, it was being in an argument with her friends. 

She strode back to the office on a mission. Rey needed to make amends, re-prove her loyalty and friendship. 

Shouting apologies at some strangers her shoulder had bumped into, she was about to turn the final corner when the glimmer of a familiar logo caught her eye. Deciding that Poe could wait a few minutes more, after all he had no idea she was even on her way to speak to him, she followed her instincts, bringing the shop closer with each step. 

Reading the logo forced her to gasp, muttering, “Republic Antiques."

It was almost identical to that night where she’d been ripped away from her sleep and left stunned by his eyes, his touch, vis voice. The night he’d taken her car, and her breath away. Except there was the slightest dull glow emanating from the glass, as though it had somehow been drained of the magic it possessed before. Perhaps they had changed something slightly that dimmed it’s shine, moving the displays, or maybe…

The necklace. Rose had practically shoved the printed sheet in her face with that stunning gem placed on a thin chain that glowed on the page, and now, a week or so later, it had disappeared from the window of the shop. 

Unprompted, she felt a pang in her chest, as though she had one day hoped to hang the glittering diamond around her own neck. The loss of her fantasy hitting her more than she cared to admit. 

What concerned her more, was why she had been brought to the store in the first place, Rose had said that the First Order had targeted it, right? What if they had come back to finish the job off. And with that thought, her brain whirred, being to think the unthinkable… what if all he was doing, all that Ben was whispering to her with his eyes, was meant to distract her?

Keep her from figuring out his secret return to the very same antique shop she’d caught him at. 

Furious with herself for thinking about the possibility of Ben betraying her, she stormed backwards, heading back around the corner. She could hardly believe that Ben would be capable of such deception but that was his job, it just wasn’t him. 

But as much as she willed herself to try and at least consider implicating him, the flame of hope burned brighter than ever in her mind. Her thoughts filling with Ben, his soft presence guarding hers at the gala, the thought of his body pressed against hers as they swayed as one. She knew it couldn’t be him, so who else?

Deciding instead to file the situation away in her brain for later, she focused on drinking her coffee before it went cold. 

As she trudged through the door her gaze wandered across the office, finally landing on the one person she needed to talk to. Her breath faltered for a second, panic beginning to seep in but her voice rung in her ears before she could think about it anymore. “Hey! Poe, can we talk?” She called out, closing the distance between them and nervously pulling him aside from the rest of the office, “Listen, I want to apologise.” Words spewed from her mouth, as though she was trying to remember everything she had planned she would say, “It was reckless to not check the car and I should have –“

“Rey,” His voice stopped her immediately, closing her lips and bracing herself for another safety drilling, “honestly it’s a genuine mistake. If anything I should be saying sorry! I overreacted a tad,” he laughed slightly, as though ‘a tad’ had been an under exaggeration, “I guess I’ve just been a bit… upset lately.”

She didn’t miss how his eyes glassed over for a second, reaching out to comfort him, her hand landed softly on his shoulder, “Is everything okay? You haven’t seemed your usual self…”

He paused for a moment, his eyes seemed to move to look at the ceiling for a few seconds, she guessed he was working up the courage to respond, “These dates, are really starting to get to me, I guess. I- I just… I want to find someone, you know?” For a moment, he acted as though he might have continued but it seems he’d scrapped his other sentence. 

“You’re a great guy.” She could tell that her smile was bringing a grin to his face, perhaps one of the only ones not given as a flirty symbol. She laughed, “Really, you’re an incredible agent and an amazing friend!” Pausing slightly, she waited until he looked like he believed her words , “You’re going to find someone that really knocks you off your toes, I know that for sure. And you will charm them with you Poe-ness.” Rey’s arms flailed about, emphasising his charm before extending the hand with his mug towards him, “But right now, you’re a guy with a cup of coffee from your best friend.”

Once again, Poe’s trademark smile lit up the room, and it seemed that all was right with the world. “Thank you. You know, I had been meaning to talk to you to clear the air but I presumed you were busy.” She nodded her head shyly, “Is everything okay, you’ve seemed a little distant recently?”

“Yeah, I – I just…” She stuttered for a moment, before dropping her head in defeat, rubbing her eyes and sighing in response, “I think this case is really getting to me. I guess I just need some rest.” 

“Now there’s something I never thought I’d hear you say! Take tomorrow off, hell, take the rest of the day off! I’ll talk to Leia, get it all sorted.” Before she could even argue back, trying to shout about how important the mission was he stopped her, “That’s an order from your best friend!” Taking a sip of his coffee the glow in his smile grew as he turned back to head to his desk, refusing to let anything change his mind.

Rey didn’t think she’d sighed louder in her life. 

As much as she hated having to tear herself away from an assignment, she could feel the lack of sleep starting to catch up with her, eyes practically crying for a break. 

Strolling slowly over to her desk, she took one last sip of her coffee, gathered all her notes and sheets of loose paper into the file and logged her computer off. A part of her felt strange, as though she should have fought harder to stay and work, only powered by the sheer amount of caffeine running through her blood.

Instead she allowed herself a moment of rest, forcing herself back through the door and into her car, passing out as soon as her body crashed on top of the bed. 

\--

When Rey had woken up the next morning, she hoped to get her nose stuck into the Skywalkers and the Kenobi’s, to see what other secrets she could dig up about their history. Only a few hours work had proved too intriguing to give up on.

All she kept doing though, against her wishes, was humming. 

She’d been bewitched by the memory of that song, the one he had played, the one she knew now only as Ben’s song. It’s melody dancing around her head, lyrics being whispered into her ear. But the voice had changed, through the years she’d listened to it, it had always been the singers voice, but now, his singing had changed everything she knew about it, his voice a mere whisper over the phone but somehow it had filled every part of her mind. 

That’s how she found herself wandering into the nearest record shop, one of the petite, family run businesses a good few minutes away from her apartment.

Before everything had happened at the Resistance, she used to spend hours of her time sitting on the curb just outside, letting the sound of music calm her. The peace never lasted long, but it had kept her spirits high, Rey appreciated that. 

It always made a smile grow on her lips, reminding her of when she had skipped into that very record store, handing over her hard earnt cash and asking for the player in the window that hadn’t lost a single glow of beauty since she’d first set eyes on it. 

And even after years, the feeling of flicking through still sent shivers through the spine. She could get lost for hours, attempting to Find the diamond in amongst piles of vinyl. As a scavenger she was always good at that, she knew that would never change.

It could have been minutes, perhaps even hours, her view completely focused on reading and searching for that one song, the one her memory had become memorised with, when her eyes caught the name. “Denise Lasalle,” She read aloud, joy laced in each word. She begun to continue reading the words sprawled on the cover, before a strong, deep voice rung out from across the box.

“’Trapped By a Thing Called Love’.” It was only then, as Rey’s eyes panned up to meet the speaker, she realised the single was being held in front of her eyes by a gleaming, beautifully toned, freckled arm, “I wonder why you’ve had this on your mind recently.”

Before their gazes had even met she knew who it was. How could she not?

A soft smile forming on his lips allowed Rey to see the dimples she’d kept dreaming about. His freckles exactly as she had memorized before, but somehow she felt she would never get bored of seeing them. His black hair curled against his face, as though he’d spent hours rolling each curl to rest along his forehead and his cheek. 

The galaxy in his eyes only seemed to multiple with each meet, allowing her to gaze deeper into the stars beneath the surface.

For a moment she thought her heart wouldn’t be able to pump against her chest any faster, she soon found that she was unquestionably incorrect. Her voice muttered breathlessly, as it always did when his name escaped her lips, “Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my Best Friend and Beta @force_jedi (on instagram) for pre-reading this <3


	7. Record Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> I hope everyone is well <3
> 
> I'm posting this a little early to hopefully make up for my awful posting schedule recently! 
> 
> Thanks, as always, to my best friend / beta @force_jedi <3
> 
> As always, let me know what you think! Enjoy!

When Ben had decided to venture outside for a few hours, the last thing he had expected was for her to be there, looking as stunning and as radiant as ever through the glass wall of a shop. From where he was standing, he could still see the freckles scatted carefully on top of her rosy cheeks, her eyebrows furrowed slightly in concentration as she bit her lip. In all of his years, he didn’t think he’d ever seen someone as beautiful as she was, simply existing right in front of him. He didn’t think he’d ever get to be so lucky.

At first, he’d thought about nothing less than bursting through the door and running straight into her arms, where they would be content to spend the rest of the day in each other’s embrace. 

But she hadn’t called. She had made absolutely no attempt to contact him after that night. He’d be lying if he said it hadn’t played on his mind, if it hadn’t been all he could fixate on for the past few long, lifeless days. And that’s what they had been: lifeless. 

He knew he couldn’t blame it all on her though, after all he’d hesitated too. Instead letting his mind wander, reminding him of how little he could really offer her and how much he would truly disappoint her. Ben had to remember the truth, a First Order and Resistance spy would never be allowed to mix, they weren’t even supposed to know each other’s names. 

He prayed that the temptation he felt to be beside her might disappear if he stopped himself from drinking her in. Reluctantly, his eyes tore themselves away from her, his body turning the way he had come. Even his footsteps were sad and pathetic, as though they hadn’t wanted to leave her presence either. 

It couldn’t have been 30 seconds before he’d stopped walking, if you could call those hesitant, half-hearted steps walking. 

He realised he didn’t want to leave her. He didn’t want to have to drag himself away from her light, it was unnatural, like a planet ripped from it’s orbit. Being around her, surrounded by her beauty felt right. Refusing to let another second pass by without being near her, he roamed back again, his strides returned him to the window where she stood, looking as ethereal as she had only moments ago. 

In that moment, he knew he’d already banished those thoughts from before, crushed them like paper and tossed them out, allowing himself instead to indulge in a reality where he would be free to admire every part of her, free to commit every freckle splattered on her skin to memory, free to trace every one of them.

For the first time in what had felt like forever, he allowed himself to dream.

He thought he’d been caught when he pressed the door open and the slightest jingle was heard over the soft melody coming from the speakers. Luckily enough, her eyes had stayed fixated on the cover of each vinyl as her fingers flicked through. She’d obviously been looking for something, and Ben knew that if that night had meant what it had to her as it had to him, then he would be searching for any reminder of that memory that he could snatch. 

With a speed and focus that matched Rey’s, he barely registered the speed of his fingers flickering through the box closest to him. A small part of him wondered briefly if she might look up to see him first, but she was too engrossed in her task. He watched her eyes scan hastily from cover to cover but soon his own snapped towards the rack in front of him. 

Bingo.

Almost as instantly as he had lifted it out of the box and filled her vision with the item he hoped she was after, he was rewarded with her soft voice, “Denise Lasalle.” Her body moving forward slightly, as if in disbelief. 

Her words flooded his senses. So she had been thinking about that same moment.

Before he could contain himself, he replied, “’Trapped By a Thing Called Love’,” Watching her eyes wander the path from his outstretched hand, up his freckled arms , along his shoulder and up to meet his face was a gift. “I wonder why you’ve had this on your mind recently.”

Her eyebrow lifted as her eyes widened slightly in shock, but glistening with a softness that banished any sense of uneasiness he had, instead a smile formed on his lips.

“Ben.” Her voice, breathless but happy, made Ben’s stomach flutter. His eyes softened, mirroring hers, before she shook her head slightly and leaned in closer, “What the hell are you doing here?” He guessed she was probably worried about getting caught. Whether it was Ben getting caught or getting caught with him, he couldn’t be sure. 

Taken aback slightly by the contrast from her initial response to seeing him, he muttered disappointedly, “You don’t sound happy to see me…” 

“Happy to see you?” She practically gasped, “I haven’t heard from you in a few days and you think I’m going to be happy to see you? I’m not even supposed to know you, let alone be spotted with you!” He’d noticed her pulling her jacket up slightly, as though an attempt to hide herself away from the window, even though it would have been too late.

Pulling his arm back into his jean pocket and leaving the vinyl laying on top of the box, he let his shoulders sag slightly. “You didn’t call back either, but I am genuinely sorry.” He almost didn’t realise that the slightly shaky, delicate voice was his. “I should’ve called…”

Eliciting an understanding nod, her arm lifted out to reach for the vinyl, “Thank you, for finding this for me.” Finally allowing himself to smile once again, he saw Rey’s smile grow too, “How did you know?”

The glimmer of hope in her eyes urged him to continue, spilling the truth before he had the chance to stop himself, “If I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I hoped that maybe, you hadn’t either.” Ben was aware of how his words had been muttered, shakily escaping his lips, and she must have noticed too, her face turning soft. “But then again, I could be wrong. It could just be a strange coincidence that you were looking for that very same record in your hand.” 

He followed her around the vinyl island, watching and walking beside her to the counter as she placed the item on the counter. Looking up through her eyelashes and plastering a grin to her face she replied, “Almost as much of a coincidence as seeing you here. You aren’t stalking me or anything, are you?”

“Darling, you know that’s kind of my job now…” His arm leant on the side, leaving him facing her profile as he vaguely heard the buttons on the cash register being clicked.

“Oh, Really?” The small chuckle that escaped her as he saw her tip her head back slightly, had banished any part left of him that had almost walked away from her. “I suppose I don’t feel so bad for keeping an eye on you now either.” He committed everything he could about her to memory, a small part of him hoped he could capture her beauty, as if he were a photographer and she was his muse.

“That’ll be £5.60,” A voice rung out, breaking the little world that they had created, “Did you want a bag?” 

Rey shook her head in response, he noticed her reaching into the pocket of her jacket, presumably to pull out a few loose notes and coins, but Ben didn’t give himself the chance to find out, his arm already outstretched with his card. After hearing the beep, Rey’s head snapped up to look for the source, only to then turn to face him, “What are you doing? I have money!”

Taking the record off the counter, he turned to face her and held his hand out, the record once again hanging in between him and Rey, “I know, consider this an apology.” 

She thanked him, taking and gripping the record close to her chest and she followed him out of the shop, their eyes still connected somehow. As he closed the door behind them, he pointed his finger left and then right, trying to figure out which direction they were going next, it was a silent offer to walk beside her and keep her company on her journey. She nodded ahead and they set off but a few second after her body turned towards his abruptly, “Wait, that money wasn’t stolen or anything, right?”

“Of course not,” He tried to act offended at her claim but the smile plastered on his face failed to give him any sort of credibility, “what do I look like, some sort of criminal?”

Seeing her smile grow into a laugh made Ben realise that the sun was smiling back at her, it’s light matching hers, as they walked together along the narrow street. “Perhaps. I suppose it depends though.”

Unsure of what it meant, his head tilted slightly, attempting to encourage her to continue, “Depends on what?”

“On if you get caught.”

She nudged her body into his lightly, teasing him. Their bodies brushing together for only a split moment but Ben could still feel the warmth of her afterwards. “Never.” His eyes fixed themselves on her face, he’d only just realised she was walking closer beside him than she had been earlier. In fact, with every step they had taken, he had felt her grow closer, the air becoming more electrifying with every moment. 

“I don’t know,” she tutted, “They normally have pretty good spies dedicated to catching them.”

“Dedicated to them you say? How dedicated are we talking?” 

“Oh, I don’t know… very.”

“I see.” He knew how devoted Rey was, she’d proven it time and time again. As much as he hated to admit it, she was good at what she did. Hell, she might even be better than him. But the chance to get to know her was an opportunity too good to pass up. He tried to convince himself it wasn’t for his own selfish reasons but he knew it was, “Dedicated enough to accept a phone call from them?”

It seemed like a few hours had gone by as he waited, eager for her reply, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds before her calming voice sent his nerves calming, “Always.” 

A breath of relief escaped into his words, “That’s good to know. So, if-“ 

Before he could take advantage of the precious moment he had found himself In, the incessant ring in his pocket cut through any of the refuge he had taken with Rey. Reluctantly grabbing the phone from its hiding place, the words ‘FO’ flashing on his screen.

“Let me guess, you’ve got to run?” Despite the cloud of gloom that had fallen over them, she spoke as soothing as ever, as though she knew exactly what this was like. As though she’d understood exactly what it meant to be obligated to answer every call, always needing to be available at a moment’s notice. 

“I’m sorry,” He was about to turn, run around the corner and answer the call before it disappeared but he snapped round abruptly, arm reaching out to hold Rey’s hand. His thumb brushed along her fingers, caressing her delicately. “I’ll call you,” Ben moved his eyes from being locked onto their joined hands to gaze into her eyes momentarily, “I promise.”

He’d hoped that he could stay that way for longer, that she would let him stay with her for just a little while longer, but the electronic beeping had grown louder, angrier almost. So with a final sigh, he disconnected their arms, though they yearned to fit back into hers, and turned around a corner without any direction.

Immediately after clicking the button there had been a suspicious pause, and Ben wondered if he’d read the caller ID wrong before a voice croaked out, “Ren? It’s Finn.” 

His heart sunk slightly, Finn never called unless it was urgent, that’s just who he was. He’d become one of Ben’s most trusted friends within the First Order, his most helpful too by being in charge of cameras and security. “What’s up?”

“We may have a problem. It’s Hux.” 

Without warning, his voice hardened, becoming rougher and somewhat irritated. That tended to happen when Armitage’s name came up. “What’s happened?”

“He’s been asking around, about you. I don’t know why, and I don’t think he’s going to find anything, but still…” Fuck. He’d though that their last meeting would have panicked him enough to back off, but it seemed that wanting to cause more trouble that Ben had previously imagined. Hux had always hated him, but willing to start placing doubt in other’s minds? That had to be a new low for even him.

Before he could begin to spit out his next line of questioning, the voice beside his ear answered his question, “I’ve cleared you so far, but in all honesty, I don’t know how much longer editing and looping surveillance footage is going to work. You should really be thinking about laying low for a little while.”

Laying low. How boring. He’d done it before, of course, but he didn’t know if he could stomach that much torture again. Weeks on end, with absolutely no contact to the outside world, other than the Order. He never wanted to do it again if he had anything to say about it.

But what had changed his mind the most was his day out. He had deemed the run in with Rey today as fate, it had to be. He was determined to talk with her more, to allow himself to indulge in her company, not to mention her beauty, for as long as he was able, the Order be damned. “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll think about it.” 

Ben could hear the voice’s grin even over the phone, ‘I’ll think about it’ meant no, and Finn knew it too. “Stay out of trouble.” The phone beeped and he stored it back in his pocket. 

That, Ben decided, would be all too easy said than done.


	8. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I have to apologise for how late this chapter is, things have been hectic here and I was hoping to get this posted before Christmas but unfortunately I wasn't able to :( I hope everyone is okay and coping with lockdowns etc. Please feel free to message me at any time if you need to talk or just want to say hi! I'm mixldraws on instagram! x
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter, this is longest one i've written so far so let me know what you thought of it! I've got some big stuff planned for the next few chapters too! 
> 
> Thanks again to @force_jedi (on instagram) for being amazing and pre-reading this and correcting things! 
> 
> Take care everyone xx

“It’s good to know that you can keep a promise.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He uttered, his smile evident even through the echoing phone speaker. Rey couldn’t even attempt to hide her own. 

The first thing she had done when arriving home from the record store, was turn her phone notifications onto the highest volume. After being promised a call, she sure as hell was not going to miss it.

As much as she tried to convince herself that she could bide her time reading, or even working a new case, she couldn’t pry her eyes away from the phone, anxiously expecting the bright flash of the screen. She knew that if he didn’t call, she would have been devasted, but she didn’t dare admit it.

It had been a solace from her thoughts when the much-awaited ringtone had filled the apartment.

She’d been reminded of why he’d left, practically ran away. “That call you had to take earlier,” Despite every instinct within her screaming not to ask for information she knew would put her in a compromising position, something about the call tugged at her, as though she could sense something was off. Perhaps it was the selfish part of her eager to know why their meeting couldn’t have lasted longer. “was it serious?”

A small moment of silence filled the room. Only for a second, maybe less, but a silence nonetheless. What was even more concerning was the vague answer he gave, “It’s nothing to worry about, should sort itself out soon.”

Muttering a half-hearted “Okay,” she let the silence reign over the room again. Of course she trusted him, but even after he’d spoken she couldn’t shake the shivers that crawled up her spine.

“You weren’t hoping I’d found out the location of the diamond, did you?” His words instantly eased the tension, allowing her shy giggles to fill the room.

She’d turned over, changing from simply laying staring at the ceiling to instead, focusing on the empty space beside her, “Perhaps.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” His laughter echoed from where she had laid her phone beside her head on the pillow. When she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine Ben there, beside her. Tangible. She had to bite on her lip to supress the smile forming as he continued, “Not that I would exactly be allowed to share such information with the opposition…”

“Neither would I, so don’t go getting your hopes up either.”

A sharp tut sprung through the air, “Damn, and to think that I bought you that record earlier too… I guess bribery doesn’t work on you.”

Their soft laughter floated in the air, “Nope. Gonna have to try harder than that, darling.”

At first, Rey had hardly realised what she called him until registering the small intake of breath. It was almost impossible to ignore. So were the butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

What Rey seemed to notice though, was how quickly he could defuse any tension she was feeling, and she was more grateful than ever now. “Ah I see, and what would ‘trying harder’ entail exactly… _if_ I were interested that is.”

“Well, _if_ you were interested,” She began but decided to pause for a moment, just to tease him a little more, “I suppose I would normally say meeting up, one that’s not by chance or cut short by, oh I don’t know, stealing someone’s car -”

“Alright, alright I get it,” he laughed, “I got it back to you in one piece! In fact I don’t think it ever looked cleaner!” It was true, but she would never admit to it. At least not any time soon.

Rey couldn’t remember when she had last smiled so much. The thought had hit her like a truck.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to entertain his question? If she were interested, what would she do? Of course her first answer had been a joke, a cheap shot at earning a small laugh from him. She was infatuated with his laugh. With him.

She thought about what she had said, about meeting up with him on purpose. Not a few stolen seconds taken from a potential crime scene or job. Was that so crazy?

An idea. A stupid and impossible one for sure. Before she could stop herself the words started to form, betraying her, “Did you-“

“Rey? You alright?” The concern evident from his tone.

“Yeah… I just-“ She paused for a moment, screaming at herself internally for even beginning this train of thought as she knew it could only go one of two ways: horribly or really well. Both were dangerous. A small part of her hoped it would be the later. “Go on a date with me.”

The air stilled, filled only by a breathy whisper, “What?”

“A date. Tomorrow night. With Me.”

Before she could even begin to rip apart her words, berating and shouting at herself for asking such an outrageous, out of the blue question, his voice spoke without hesitation, “Okay.”

At first, Rey thought she had made it up, that she had grown tired enough to hallucinate, but the voice had said it with such certainty it couldn’t have been dreamt, “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.” He responded, his voice sounding happier than before, something she hadn’t thought was possible.

There was only one small problem: she hadn’t planned any further. Hell, she wasn’t even expecting a response, let alone a ‘yes’. Figuring that her confidence so far hadn’t failed her, she took a another step into the deep end, “Meet you at 6, I’ll text you an address.”

“Can’t wait.”

\---

The light streamed in through his curtains, illuminating his face and alerting him of the day ahead. Instead of his slow, tired morning routine, his eyes had flung open, the events of the night before flooding back to him.

Reaching out his arm, he searched frantically for his phone, not even attempting to lie and say he was simply checking the time. His screen was filled with a few emails he would need to spend time replying to, but buried beneath them was a location and time underneath Rey’s name.

Part of him had thought it was a dream, after all it had been late and it could’ve been a momentary mistake, but this was the proof that she had meant it. Meant it and remembered it.

Checking his phone again for both the time and to double check he hadn’t misread it the first time, he knew he would have to find some way to kill the rest of the day. After all, how could he focus on anything with the upcoming evening?

First thing was first though, he needed to be somewhat smart about this whole ordeal, after all they were supposed to be spies. The best in the business, and also enemies, but he ignored that last thought.

Grabbing his phone once again, he tapped some buttons and connected it to his ear, “Finn, I need a huge favour.”

“I thought I told you to stay out of trouble, guess what Ren, this doesn’t sound like it!” The voice stung, but he’d woken up so happy he refused to let it dampen his spirit.

“It’s not that dangerous…”

The sigh Finn had let out already made Ben aware of what was coming next before his words were formed, “Ren, I really don’t-“

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” And it really was.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

He didn’t. But he knew what he wanted to do, and he wasn’t going to abandon it that easily. Abandon her that easily.

\--

To say that Rey was nervous was an understatement.

Firstly, she’d arrived almost half an hour early, convincing herself that the 10-minute walk from her apartment to the restaurant might be swarmed with traffic. It wasn’t. Not to mention after seating herself in a secluded booth in the back, she’d taken her phone out every few minutes, either to double check that the location she’d messaged over to Ben was correct or that the time was. She remembered re-reading the neon symbol outside several times, confirming that it did still read ‘Mos Eisley Cantina’ from the time she’d seen it, only moments ago.

The cantina had long been the talk between Rey and Rose after seeing it’s glowing reviews about the atmosphere and food. In fact, she remembered Poe mentioning a blind date he’d had here, praising the booths for whatever ‘date lighting’ meant.

5:55pm, she read from her phone screen, which seemed to cool the doubts in the back of her head momentarily, so she placed it back into the pocket of her jacket, zipping it up, determined to stop glancing at it. Instead, she focused on making sure her outfit still looked as perfect as when she’d left her apartment.

Normally, for work or other meet ups with friends, she’d throw on her favourite jumper and a comfy outfit. Presentable, nothing more than that. This time though, Ben had already seen her dressed in a gown and heels at the gala. She couldn’t just turn up in some old rags.

Besides, she sort of, maybe, kind of liked him, so she decided that just ‘nice’ wouldn’t do.Instead, she’d decided on a black silk camisole tucked neatly into a pair of dark jeans that Rose always complimented. In fact, she thought that if Rose could see her outfit, she probably would have gone into a frenzy, screaming about how she’d ‘ _never dressed up this much before when going out_ ’ before interrogating her about Ben.

Whilst a part of her wished her friend could be here for support, the other thought about how happy she was to avoid answering the thousands of questions that would have been thrown her way.

There was something missing however, she felt bare and vulnerable and she couldn’t figure out why. This time, Rey had even spent time meticulously applying some soft makeup and eyeliner and her outfit still felt empty. She had spent hours throwing on item after item to no avail.

Almost tempted to give up and call the whole thing off, she’d pulled out a hidden item at the back of her wardrobe. A deep mustard suede jacket that she had nearly forgotten about that completely.

Now that, was more _her_.

Remembering where she was, the urge to unzip her pocket and check her phone was almost impossible to ignore. Instead, she forced herself to focus on the candle lit in the centre of the table, to watch the flame flicker and dance under the soft glow of the chandeliers.

It could only have been moments before the light flickered against a dark background, a shadowy mass blocking the light in front of her. Focusing on the figure, her eyes travelled the distance up him, finally resting on his face, Ben’s face.

“You look…” His steps were short and slow but his eyes studied everything, unwilling to forget any detail. The only way Rey could’ve described it was ‘utterly stunned’, “Wow.”

She had to admit herself, that she too was utterly stunned. The thick black coat he wore could barely contain his huge form, but when he eventually managed to rip it off himself, the dark grey button up shirt he wore became the focus of her gaze for longer than she cared to admit. It took her a few moments to remember how to form words, “You don’t clean up too badly yourself.”

Placing the coat on a nearby rack, he slid across the curved seat, getting comfortable only centimetres away from where she was still staring at the small slither of skin peering out from the gap between his shirt and his dark jeans. “I love what you did with your hair.”

She must have blanked out when getting ready earlier as she hardly remembered pulling it together in a low, loose bun, “Oh, now I _know_ you’re after something.”

“Well…” His mischievous grin stretched, his arms leaning on the table edging closer to her slowly, “I wanted a date with a beautiful girl but it seems like I’ve already, somehow, managed to convince her to ask me out.” His hands were waving animatedly about.

“Lucky you.”

His face, smothered in a smile, filled her vision and she couldn’t look away. She didn’t want to.

Somewhere out of the corner of her eye she’d vaguely registered a figure approaching them and she snapped out of her reverie at the last minute. He’d asked if they wanted any drinks but that didn’t register until a few seconds later. Luckily Ben had given her a look, asking an unspoken question before ordering them a bottle of red wine. They’d both recited the first thing on the menu that caught their eye, having spoken so much already that they’d missed the chance for a thorough inspection of the food.

After the figure had strolled away, she focused on the more serious matter at hand, something that she had been mulling over since she’d woken up. It had to be discussed, there was no getting around it, “Before we properly start this date-“

Cutting in, Ben leant closer, his cheeky smile on full display, “So the moments so far have just been the practise date? If I would’ve known, I wouldn’t have been so nice to you.”

As much as she tried to feign frustration, her heart was too full to fake it. Instead, she only moved closer to shorten the gap between them, “I was saying that I think we should make it clear that there’s strictly no work talk tonight.”

She’d thought it would be safer this way, setting a boundary of some kind. She’d already broken an array of rules and regulations, it wouldn’t hurt to stick to at least one of them.

“I agree. For tonight, it’s work free zone. But, I can’t say I wasn’t excited to share my plans for the next robbery…”

“And I can’t say I wasn’t excited to tell you how I would have caught you.” Already, she could see his smile growing larger with each passing minute.

As she looked across the table, she noticed two glasses of wine poured out that must have been dropped off along with their food. He must have noticed too, “Well, I’ll drink to that.”

“To a work free night.”

“Cheers.” He raised his glass to meet hers, the clink of glass evaporating into the air.

She gingerly took a sip, trying to choose only one of the thousands of questions swimming in her mind. Without being able to process a coherent thought, words had already begun flooding out of her mouth, “I don’t think I thanked you for the record earlier,”

“Don’t worry about it, being able to see you again is thanks enough.” Her eyes fixated on his lips as they met the wine glass before bringing the flute back down to the table and returning to it’s smile from moments before, “You know, I didn’t think we were going to be able to meet again.”

“We shouldn’t have in the first place, but when have we ever stuck to the rules…”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t dare.” Taking another bite of food, Ben following, she brought her elbow to rest on the table, allowing her glass to wave in the air freely as he enquired, “So, Tell me about those CDs in your car, I didn’t expect you to be such an old soul.”

Hoping that being an ‘old soul’ was a good thing, she responded, “I used to listen to them all the time when I was younger, humming along to the tune.” Her eyes looked down at the table, focusing instead on encompassing herself in a memory.

That particular day had been filled with joy, the sun had shone through the curtains and the sweet voice of another had been singing in the background. “My mum had always sung along with me, teaching me the words even though I wasn’t even able to form a proper sentence.”

There was a small chuckle as they both imagined a smaller Rey fumbling over her words but still trying to sing along nonetheless.

There must have been a look in her eye, some far off glassy gaze, one that he recognised, one that he knew, because the air in the room seemed to tilt as his body shifted closer, “What happened to her?”

It seemed that the air became heavier too, harder to breathe in. “She, um…She died, years ago. It’s the only real memory of her that I remember.” Her eyes tore from their view, refusing to meet his stare, “But, no matter how hard I try to remember, I can’t picture her face. I’m forgetting her but I still know the songs she used to play and it didn’t make me feel so alone anymore, like maybe…”

“She was still there with you.” He finished and she nodded, looking away. Rey couldn’t bare another pitiful apology of someone feeling sorry for her. It always hurt more that way. However, he took a breath and looked away, beginning slowly, “I remember going on these long trips with my Dad, no destination, just driving. Used to make my mother go crazy.” Turning her focus back to Ben, she saw the pained glint in his eye, masked by a small, sad smile. “But we would just sit there, without any responsibility or problems. Just us and the music.”

“I can see why you’re a fan, it sounds incredible.” She spoke through a small smile.

Releasing a breath, he continued, “That was back when they used to show up. Before they became more focused on their jobs and arguing with each other… and so they eventually left me.” The shaky voice he spoke in was laced with sadness, “I was so alone.”

Their eyes seemed to meet, as though they were staring at the other half of their soul, and whatever life threw at them next didn’t seem to matter, for he understood her, and she him. Moving her hand and placing it tentatively next to his thigh underneath the table, she spoke, slow and soft, “You’re not alone.”

“Neither are you.” His fingers moved to lay beside her own, mirroring hers. Rey’s eyes were fixed on his hand, watching as their hands swam the distance, intertwining.

First his pinkie finger hooked onto her own, as though it were testing the waters before his fingers followed, tangling themselves in her own.

She was transfixed by his movements, gentle and kind, and yet she knew the passion beneath them. There was no logical way to explain how she understood, but she knew that this vulnerability was just between them, that the rest of the world had been tuned out. How could she focus on anyone else but him?

They seemed to sit like that for hours, lost in each other, until that same figure appeared, gathering their plates silently. Perhaps he too was afraid to break the moment.

Ben’s voice glided through the silence, offering some serenity, “My Dad and I’s go to song was always Do You Love Me, the Contours was always a classic.”

Unable to hide her smile, she responded, “Mum loved Baby and I was always a big fan of Carla Thomas,” she glanced over, expecting to see his gleaming face but instead was met with his thoughtful, pensive face, “Wait, don’t tell me you’ve never listened to Carla Thomas? Are you serious?”

Met with his noncommittal shrug, she decided that it had to be rectified. She knew he’d love it, and it was an excuse if anything to ask him the question she’d been wanting to all night, “Want to come back to mine? I can play you the song, besides, I don’t want this night to end.”

They had been lucky so far without any interruptions, but she was determined not to let anything ruin their time together.

His eyes softened again, relief flooding through his body judging by the content sigh he released, “Neither do I, Rey.” And just when she thought she couldn’t be any happier, he replied, “I would love to.”


	9. The Apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Happy (Belated) Valentine's day! <3 - I've worked really hard to get this out in honour of the holiday! I'm only a day late lol! 
> 
> I drew some art for this chapter - https://www.instagram.com/p/CLSD2pdAjWT/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link - check it out!  
> Songs in this chapter are 'B-A-B-Y' by Carla Thomas and 'Cry To Me' by Solomon Burke - absolutely beautiful songs that I would recommend listening to! 
> 
> As always let me know your thoughts on this chapter! 
> 
> Huge thanks again to @force_jedi on instagram for pre-reading this and correcting my many errors!  
> I hope you're all okay, take care and stay safe x

She’d inspected herself in the mirror, eyeliner still perfectly unsmudged, lipstick still prominent and outfit still just as flattering, which all had eased her nerves briefly.

Only moments ago, Ben had agreed to come back to her apartment, much to her amazement, so she’d been forced to mutter something about popping to the toilet to “freshen up” before rushing off to grab a calming moments breath, and to give herself a short pep talk.

When Rey had arrived back at their table though, he was already standing, wrapped up in his warm coat with his arm outstretched to offer her her own jacket. She only allowed herself a moment to pause and drink him in, before dragging herself forward to collect his offer.

Throwing it on, their hands connected to lead her out of the restaurant. She told herself it was for that reason, and that one only, but it was nothing like their soft, unsure brushes earlier. It were as though any shyness they felt had slowly evaporated with the night. The cold evening air greeted them as they stepped out into the open, which only seemed to bring them closer together too.

As they walked along the pavement, their eyes had naturally gravitated to each others, occasionally leading them to bump into a few people here and there. She’d muttered a quick apology and turned her face away, determined to focus on the pavement ahead, only to return back moments later.

It seemed as though they had been repeating that dance for a lifetime, his glances twirling around her own.

When they were only a minute or two away from her apartment, Rey stopped suddenly, the magic of their dance broken. “Shit, what about the bill? We didn’t just make a run for it, did we?”

His face turned away from her own, “And if we did?” She was about to curse herself for being so stupid, but before she was able to bombard him with questions he turned to face her, his eyes gleaming along with his smile, “I’m kidding, I paid whilst you were gone.”

The cogs in her brain stopped spinning momentarily, almost ashamed at how quickly she would have questioned him. After all, he had constantly proven that he hadn’t endangered her so far.

She pushed those thoughts aside and smiled back at him, “Thank you. Really.” She gave his hand a quick squeeze in a silent appreciation, and her smile grew when there was a small press back in understanding. “Wait, that’s two things you’ve brought me now!”

His shoulder met hers and they started moving again, “I know, and that’s two favours you now owe me,”

“That will entirely depend on what the favours are.”

“Perhaps another date?” This time there was an air of confidence in his voice, as though he knew exactly how much fun she was having.

The butterflies in her stomach were multiplying, fluttering and soaring despite her attempts to ease them. She managed to construct a response though, much to her own disbelief, “So confident that this one has gone well?”

“Well…” His eyes pointed down, a glint of mischief in them. Following them, she realised that she’d forgotten to remove her hand from his. Instead, she’d let him stay close and connect to her, barely a grasp apart. “Besides, you invited me over, so I consider that more than a success.”

“Don’t go getting cocky now,” Their shoulders bumped together again before they came to a halt, “Speaking of inviting you over, this is me.” She raised her arm, pointing towards the dark door of a tall building. Each layer seemed to be constructed entirely out of glass, which had always given Rey a beautiful view over the city – something she filed away for later, a reminder for once they’d climbed the staircase and arrived at her floor.

Digging her key out of a secret inner pocket she’d stashed it in, she hesitantly started unlocking the door. Part of her was worried that he’d send something crashing into her so he could grab some secret intel and run, but the other was worried about letting someone she genuinely liked into her apartment.

Rey’s home had always been something private, filled with small trinkets that had big meanings, and the bare essentials, but most importantly it was her. Some part of her thought about Ben hating this side to her, the truth. The scavenger she had once had to be.

But all in one moment, those fears dissipated, burnt from existence by the soft squeeze of his hand in her own. He too was scared. What this meant for the both of them was still up in the air, but it had always been dangerous. And even so she was letting him in, and through that small gesture, she knew he was too.

She opened the door.

The first thing she noticed was how clean she had left it, finally thankful for her lack of mess. Normally there might have been a jumper or blanket here and there where she’d worked late into a particularly chilly night.

The second thing she noticed was how Ben explored the room, first turning to take it all in before taking small steps closer to a cabinet on the right wall. His hand ran across the spines of the books, leaving no stone unturned, having every section of the room memorised. She’d noticed a slight pause when he reached for the picture frame, his curiosity obvious. “That’s my first foster mum,” she explained, walking closer to the image, “she passed away years ago, when I was barely young enough to remember, but I keep her picture there. I thought she might still want to keep a watch over me… it’s stupid, I know…”

She was determined not to cry in front of Ben, it was a foolish sentiment in the first place so she expected his laughter to fill the room, this time laughing at her expense.

“Not at all, I think she would love it.” A small tear she hadn’t realised escaped struck down her face, his soft touch swiping it away, “I have a picture of my parents in mine too, even though they left I still… I guess I still wish we were close, like before.”

She thought about the glances into his life that she’d seen so fat, those small moments where she could feel his loneliness and shame. She wondered if he could still have a chance at happiness. Rey had never been able to find her parents, but maybe he could re-find his instead. “Can’t you be?” she whispered hopefully.

His hand moved from her cheek to pull a stray strand of hair around her ear before returning to his side. She saw a flicker of pain in his eyes before returning to their soft look, “Not with everything I’ve done. Who I’ve become.”

She knew what that felt like too. To have a past of inescapable memories, unrelenting and unforgiving. Surviving by herself was never easy, it required sacrifice, and those moments haunted her now and again. With each passing day, it became more and more distant, but it was still her, still her actions. And occasionally those habits would slip back into her life, like working out how much some scraps could get her, or even her ability to devour each meal as though it might be her last.

If Ben was anything like her, she suspected the same for him too. There would be glances every so often of loneliness, the same ones echoed in her own eyes. After all, they were both alone.

The air between them softened as she tenderly laced her palm perfectly in his, as though they were made for each other. It felt natural.

And suddenly they weren’t so alone anymore, they had each other.

Using his free hand, he picked up another frame on the shelf, silently asking her to continue, “That is what happens when me and my friends get completely and utterly shit-faced at the Christmas party.” Her heart soared when she heard his chuckle again, like the world had regained the light lost.

“Now this,” They moved together around the room this time, letting his interest lead them. “is what I came here for.” He chuckled and lifted the lid off of her vinyl player, the records waiting patiently beside it to be played.

Reluctantly, she removed her hand from his, instead using it to select and prepare a record, placing it carefully onto the surface, “Get ready to have your life changed.”

“Born ready.”

She lined up the groove and let the melody crackle through the speakers and soft chords of a piano swept into the air.

**Baby, ooh baby**

**I love to call you baby**

Seeing his face concentrate slightly she smiled, “What do you think?”

She had already calculated how quickly it would take her to open the window, knowing that if he didn’t like the song it would be thrown out within seconds.

**You make wrong things right**

Almost immediately a smile had broken out on his face, “I love it.”

The breath of relief she let out was masked by the joy on her face, she thanked how loud the music was too.

**And I won't stop calling you**

She was happy, happier than she had ever thought she could be – high on being around him. It made her confident enough to offer her hand out to him, leaving a silent question hanging in the air.

**You look so good to me baby**

For a few moments she thought he wouldn’t join her, he’d barely moved since she’d suggested the idea. Maybe she shouldn’t have pushed him, pushed them both too quickly.

Maybe she had read the whole situation wrong.

**Just one look in your eyes**

**And my temperature goes sky high**

And then within seconds she was being twirled across the room in huge spins, giggling into the air.

He’d taken her hand. And just when she thought she couldn’t feel more ecstatic.

**Then I get real close to you**

**And your sweet kisses see me through**

His twirls got smaller, twisting her closer to him, until they were laughing in front of each other - that incredibly charming smile of his beaming back at her. God she wanted to paint him in that moment, waves of his hair bouncing and falling against his cheeks, which were flushed with a beautiful pink only to be illuminated by the reflection of the stars. His grin, a smile she would never tire of, honest and meant for her. In a way, she was glad she wasn’t an artist, because no painting or drawing could ever do this moment justice.

**And I can't stop loving you**

**And I won't stop calling you**

**He's so sweet he's my baby**

**I like it i like to call him**

The silence grew as their chuckles faded, too surrounded in each other to pay attention to anything else. Their joined hands by their sides, refusing to move in fear of fracturing the dream. His eyes, strong yet soft, focused intensely on her own, seeming to capture every small detail in her face. Perhaps he too wished he could capture the moment.

But the crackling of the record had eventually pulled Rey from her gazing, instead urging her to turn her head, drawing attention to the static.

There was a moment of sadness. He had only agreed to come over to hear that song, he had no other reason to stay. With the tension in the room still vulnerable, his arms dislodged from her own. She waited for the dreaded words to escape his mouth, for him to rush into the night again.

Instead, he crossed the room.

She watched him flick through her music collection, curious of his plans. But he had pulled one out, with intense care, and laid it even more carefully onto the surface. He grinned a quick, “My turn,” and set the record spinning.

When the first note struck, she knew exactly what song it was and she hadn’t been more glad she’d snagged the last copy online.

He’d started moving closer, at first she couldn’t tell, too lost in the music, but with each beat the space between them grew smaller. The distance was torture.

**When your baby leaves you all alone**

And then their arms were connected, and they were as close as before, as though their separation had been a painful nightmare.

**And nobody calls you on the phone**

**Don’t cha feel like crying**

Their bodies pressed even closer, the difference between them non-existent. She could feel him, his heart beating against her skin, his breath on her lips. They moved as one, she couldn’t tell who started swaying and when, but they had, each movement making her heart pound furiously.

**Well, here I am, my honey c'mon baby, cry to me**

**When you're all alone in your lonely room**

**And there's nothing but the smell of her perfume**

**Don’t cha feel like crying**

**C'mon baby, (c'mon) cry to me**

As they swayed, they dipped too, their hips grinding slowly against each other, their bodies completely lost in the rhythm.

Her back arched backward, letting him lean forward, still joined together at every point on their bodies, letting her head flick back and her eyes close.

**Nothing could be sadder than a glass of wine alone**

**Loneliness loneliness, it just a waste of your time, oh yeah**

“You don’t ever have to walk alone,” He said against the music. It could’ve been a throwaway comment, a cheeky play on the song lyrics. But it hadn’t. She knew him, she knew it had been him saying it, and when she’d opened her eyes to glance at him, the spellbinding look on his face confirmed it all.

Her hand laid against his cheek, “Neither do you, Not anymore.”

“Never again.” He murmured against her neck, laying a small and delicate kiss there before they stood straight once again, both in disbelief.

**When you're waiting for a voice to come**

**In the night there is no one**

**Don’t cha feel like crying (cry to me)**

Her eyes gazed into his own, that same glint of hope from the gala visible. This time though, his eyes were truly looking at her, and she saw the vulnerability in each flicker. She suspected the same for her own.

They had more time however, not pulled away by beeping watches and screaming phones, which allowed her focus to fall to his lips. She’d noticed them before, how could she not, but never up this close.

**Don't you feel like cr-cr-cr-cr-cr-cr-cry (cry to me) cr-cr-cr-cr-cr-cr-crying?**

And she couldn’t draw her eyes from his lips. The thought of kissing them, of biting them, left her senseless.

“Rey, I…” she’d clung to each word in anticipation but his eyes were gazing hungrily at her lips and before he could utter another word her body lurched forward, letting their lips press together.

She’d thought about kissing him, but they had all been small, soft kisses. But this was nothing like those dreams. Their lips had crashed together, noses bumping slightly but she didn’t care, his kiss was too breath-taking to think about anything else.

His hand wrapped around her body, trying to pull her closer into him and his hunger for her set her body on fire. “Ben,” she moaned, as his tongue explored her mouth. This only caused him to let out a deeper moan, making the space between her legs throb. She didn’t think she’d ever get over the way her name sounded on his lips and she wanted him to repeat it, over and over. 

He seemed to know exactly what he had done, moving his hand to her thigh for her to wrap her legs around him, this way she could feel him grow harder, which only made her hips crash into his own more passionately.

She vaguely registered the thump of Ben’s back hitting a wall as he let one hand reach out and trace her curves, the other still gripping her thigh. One of Rey’s had lifted his shirt from his jeans, exploring every inch of his skin.

She could’ve died right there and then. He was handsome and cocky and sexy, God he was hot, and she loved it. She loved h-

And all of a sudden, with that thought, it had all fallen apart. “Wait-“ she forced herself back, only letting her forehead rest on his, “We can’t do this.” Every bone in her body was screaming at her, shouting at her not to let him go. But his arm retracted from her thigh and her feet met the floor once again. She could feel the tears beginning to fall, “If we do, I’ll end up staying the night, and if I stay the night I’ll –“

_I’ll fall in love with you._

As much as she wanted to, and she really wanted to, she had to think about what would happen. Chaos. They would risk so much, and it would be too much for her to ask of him. It wasn’t fair but that was how it need to be Rey decided.

She clamped down on the overwhelming urge to cry.

“Hey,” whispering as his hand met hers, gently caressing her fingers and knuckles until their gaze connected again. “you don’t have to explain, I agree.” A breathless truth, that Ben knew exactly what she meant, and he knew what it would mean.

They seemed to bask in each other though, trying to ignore the impending loneliness, for hours.

He left a lingering kiss on her forehead, holding onto her for a few stolen moments before pulling himself a way. From the way his fingers stayed gripped in her own, even after they’d separated, showed that it was no easy feat for him either.

She was glad he didn’t look back as he closed the door behind him. That would have been too much to bear.

\---

As Ben walked back into his apartment, he fell back into the door in complete shock at everything that had happened. She had kissed him, he had kissed her, but ultimately he had left.

He couldn’t blame her decision, she was smarter than him and he had gotten too caught up in the moment. Lost sight of who he really was, who she was. He was thankful that she had stopped them, otherwise they could have fallen into even more danger.

Even so, he couldn’t hide the happiness he had felt, still felt when he thought about her. He never thought he could ever be that happy, especially after everything he had inflicted on others. Almost stopped believing that anyone could want to be beside him, and then she had charged into his life, and -

The ping of a message pulled him back to reality and away from past. After realising it was from the second phone, he rushed over to read the message.

_I had a really great time tonight. Thank you x_

_– R_

His fingers itched to type out a reply, to tell her exactly how he felt. To ask if she really had wanted to meet up again, because he would be there in a heartbeat.

For the first time in his life, he let himself hope. He let himself dream of a simpler life, with nothing but her, by his side, against the world.

Moments away from furiously typing out all his thoughts, three strong knocks struck the door. A small part of himself thought that Rey might have followed him back, and that he’d rush back into her arms, as though they had never been apart.

Instead he opened the door to the one person he hadn’t wanted to see, ever again.

His eyes widened as he stood frozen, rooted to the spot. The voice, harsh and sickly spat at him, “Aren’t you going to invite me in, Ren?”

In response he opened the door for the other to enter. “Snoke,” As he entered something bright in his grip caught Ben’s eye, “What are you doing here, I thought you were in New York?”

His eyes scanned over the apartment like a hawk’s, before striding forward and standing beside a sofa in the centre of the room, “I came back early. There were… whisperings.” His claw-like hand extended and gestured to the seat across from him, “Sit down.”

Ben was about to protest, his mouth forming the words, but snoke repeated his words, this time lacing them with venom, and he folded himself into the chair.

Snoke threw the crisp white envelope he had been holding onto the table, “It’s for you. Open it.”

He had a bad feeling about this. Snoke was letting nothing slip, no underhand comments or hints as to his purpose. As long as he had known the villain, he’d love to get in a crushing quip here and there, something to show his power over a person, and yet he had said barely anything. That, chilled him to the core.

Reluctant and slow, he reached out, ripping open the clean letter, revealing a small stack of polaroids. At first, he wondered if they had something to do with a new heist that was being planned, perhaps all the silence had been to prevent any prying ears from receiving intel, but as they were uncovered his purpose became apparent.

The first showed him driving around an old mini around town – it had been Rey’s borrowed one, but there was no way to confirm it from the angle of the picture. He almost laughed at how useless it was, a poor attempt at blackmail.

So he’d employed someone to keep tabs on him, typical. He should have expected that, especially after Hux’s comments.

The second piqued his interest slightly. It showed himself, around the corner of a random street but deep in conversation over the phone. As his eyes roamed and probed further, he noticed the focus hadn’t been on himself at all. In fact, a small figure in the back of the photo, closely down the street, was clear too.

To another pair of eyes, it could have been a pedestrian, but he knew her, he had walked and talked beside her only moments before the picture had been snapped. For God’s sake, he’d been kissing her earlier. He just prayed that Snoke didn’t have a clue.

“You can’t prove anything with those pictures.” He spat, desperate to try and gain some sort of upper hand, some sense of higher ground, but with each passing second and Snoke’s growing grin, he could feel it slipping from his grasp, utterly and completely powerless to stop it.

“Maybe. Maybe not. But you’ve not finished looking at them yet,” Snoke’s bony finger was set above the images on the table, clawing towards him, “Go on, carry on.”

Reluctantly pushing the images of himself aside, after all a simple picture of him proved absolutely nothing, and focused on what the final images could convey, what else could his tormentor throw at him in order to crush him?

His heart froze, his skin turning deathly pale. Right there, underneath the innocent pictures, was a window depicted underneath the midnight sky. What was most important though, were the figures clearly visible through the glass despite the darkness of the city.

The first image showed two figures separated slightly but the second, however, was impossible to deny. They were close, closer than they had ever been before, the gap between them beginning to close. Their faces moments away from meeting.

It could have been anyone, but the traitorous flickering of candlelight had exposed their faces. Their features clearly laid out in front of his eyes, him and Rey only hours earlier. “What the hell do you want?”

“You’re going to take your rightful place by my side.”

He let out a sharp tut, “I would never do that.”

“Oh Kylo, are you sure? Just wait, you’re missing the best picture.” His hand stretched, reaching into his coat pocket and retrieving a piece of paper, “Here, I’ve saved this one for my personal collection.”

His hand moved to place the paper flat on the table, revealing the final picture of their lips still linked irrevocably. Except her legs had wrapped themselves around his waist, their arms entangled around each other, gripping with and intense fury. The strap of her top draping carelessly against her arm, pushed aside by Ben’s wandering hands. This time, it was impossible to tell where one began and the other ended.

It was undeniable.

“I don’t know about you, but that’s definitely going to be interesting to explain to a judge.” Snoke’s nightmarish grin haunted him, draining him of any sense of hope.

Rey had stopped them going any further, and even so it still hadn’t mattered. He had run out of options, he had always been doomed to his fate within the First Order, and he had been a fool to think, even for a moment, that it could change. With the small piece of power he still held, he let his head fall and agreed, “I’ll join on one condition. These images and all copies are burned-“

The shrieking cackle the descended into the room shook his core to the bone, sending shivers through his spine, “I don’t think you’re in any positions to make demands here, Kylo.” For a few small moments he had considered texting her, warning her of the danger but Snoke continued, his scratchy voice grating against the cold air, “But I’ll humour you. If you agree to join us, I won’t harm her.”

Snoke’s word didn’t mean shit to Ben. In all his years of reign, he couldn’t recall a moment he truly trusted that there wasn’t some hidden, ulterior motive for each heist but he didn’t care. He didn’t really have much of a choice if he did, but one thing he had to focus on was Rey. He’d already put her in a compromising position, he had to do all he could to reverse it. He had to protect her. No matter the cost. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

A cackle, deep and clawing, echoed around the room, “You didn’t really have a choice anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think <3


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